I just got my annual labs done. I have had dangerously high cholesterol, as you can see, since at least 2006, when my total cholesterol was 253. (For reference, it is supposed to be under 180.) Even more alarming, my triglycerides were 396! They were more than double what is considered the maximum safe level of 150 mg/dl. Triglycerides measure the fats in the blood. My blood was so fatty it was thick and hard to pump through my body. My poor heart had to work over-over-over time just to get blood to all my organs. No wonder I had sky-high blood pressure, too. (Don't worry-the doctor was happy to give me a drug for that, too!)
The next few years, I was on a cholesterol-lowering statin, drugs like Lipitor and Crestor. You can see my cholesterol went down, but not enough. The bad thing is, statins lower your cholesterol, but they damage your liver! I was lowering my cholesterol, but I was doing toxic things to my liver! This was double bad, because I already had a "fatty liver" from being obese. My liver was so clogged with fat, it wasn't able to do it's job properly. Then I added toxics to it. Not very nice of me!
You can see where I made an honest effort to get healthy in 2007. I didn't know about raw foods, but I went vegetarian (not vegan) and I started exercising. That, combined with the drugs, got my cholesterol down to 163, and cut my triglycerides in half, yay me! But sadly, I had not dealt with my compulsive eating issues, and I was "white knuckling it." I fell off the wagon, hard, in 2008, and went back to fast food, sugar, meat, cheese, quit exercising--and my cholesterol went up just a little (due to the drugs) but my triglycerides doubled again!
In Sept, 2008, fresh off the bad news from my doctor's office, my friend Chasmyn told me about raw food. I was intrigued but it sounded hideously healthy. I knew I could never live on fruit and salad and wheatgrass juice! lol But she did a wonderful thing for me: she took me to a live food restaurant here in Portland, called The Blossoming Lotus. And the food was AMAZING. Beyond delicious! It made me think, "hmmm, maybe I could do this! ....Nah!" But I decided to try anyway. I did a 100-day RawFu challenge, but quit after 30 days because of the compulsive issues I had not dealt with. Still the seed was planted. I knew how great I felt on raw food. It just felt right! I love animals, I care about the environment, I wanted really badly to do the right thing and be vegan. I wanted so so much to be able to control my crazy binging, to release the weight that held me down (I weighed 402 lbs!) I wanted so badly for me to be healthy!
I took time out to deal with my compulsive eating. I did it following a Christian path, through an organization called Celebrate Recovery at my church. That worked for me where nothing else had. (Remember: 402 lbs! Lifetime obesity! Child abuse survivor! I had issues, people!)
Once I experienced the miracle of being relieved of my compulsions, wonderful things started to happen! I gave up all artificial sweeteners. (I found out they were basically poison. That was pretty easy to give up.) Bouyed by my success, I tried giving up other things, like caffeine. I loved iced tea like crazy. I drank it all year long! I loved fancy coffee drinks. I live in the Pacific NW, the birthplace of Starbucks! But I was able to let the caffeine go.
Fast forward to January this year: my miracle of relief from compulsion happened and I gave up: sugar, white flour, and meat! Then I went all sane, and went vegan! Then, I went even saner and went back to raw! The results: 4 and a half months later, my cholesterol is 140! My triglycerides are 136! I have released 80 lbs (60 of it since January on raw!) I exercise at least 5 times a week (walking and coming thisclose to dancing, bopping out to my tunes on the track or the treadmill! lol) I love to move my body to the music, big as I am. My body finally got off the couch, and it is ready to boogie!
I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for my daily miracle of abstinence, to my body for healing itself, and to you my friends for supporting me! And last night, for the first time, I DID NOT take my cholesterol-lowering drug before I went to bed! It served it's purpose when I was battering my body with SAD cooked animal fats daily, but I won't let it hurt my liver anymore. With my doctor's complete blessing, I am throwing it away!
(EDITED TO ADD: I can't get the stupid chart to publish successfully in blogger. If you want to see it, go to my journal on RawFu, I posted it there.)
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Flirting with 811 LFRV
The second week of the Initiative at Raw Food Rehab is almost over and I am feeling great! (If you haven't checked out the 'hab, run by Penni Shelton, you really owe it to yourself. It is awesome, very supportive, just like my beloved GeekedFu.) I expect to see nice things from the scale tomorrow. I worked out a lot this week--pretty much every day except Sunday. Yay me. My awesome 17 yr old daughter supports me by getting up with me at 5 o'dark o'clock and hitting the gym with me before I go to work and she goes to school. I have also ramped up my raw intake which I think was responsible for my epic weight release last week.
Now that the weather is nice, I am really enjoying walking around the park that is across the street from my work at lunch. I don't try to "feel the burn," it is just a meditative, joyful time for me to celebrate being outdoors, the beauty of Spring, the fresh air and whatever sunshine we get in April in Oregon. Sometimes I listen to praise music on my iphone, sometimes I don't and just think and talk to God. It really makes the second half of the work day go well, with less stress.
I have been flirting with 811 "low fat raw vegan." It's called 811 or 80-10-10 because you eat 80% of your calories from carbs, 10% protein, and 10% fat. I've trolled around Dr. Doug Graham's website and gone on message boads like this one. It's interesting. I'm skeptical but intrigued. What appeals: everyone looks super healthy, seems very happy and active. Like, uber active, doing marathons and triathalons and whatnot. Obviously they feel good and have lots of energy. I also like the laziness of the diet: Eat fruit! All day long! Eat a salad for dinner. The end. So little food prep! So easy! Even I can manage to make a kick-butt salad once a day. What doesn't appeal: Eat fruit. Only fruit. All day long. And for a big fun suprise, eat a salad! Woo! Seems a wee bit monotonous and I don't know that I could stick with it. There is no onion, garlic, spice, or even salt on this diet. No honey or other natural sweeteners. Also: the people on these forums are true believers. Like, scarily so. 811 is their Rawligion. They won't even let you post a picture of a food that is not a fruit or a salad, seriously. They won't let anyone who does not agree 100% with them even post on their forums, and treat Dr. Graham like a messiah. Now, I'm sure Dr. Graham is a heckuva guy, but I don't need a savior. I've got one, thanks! And yes, I worry about nutritional deficiencies over time. I think legumes, nuts, avocados are nutrient dense and besides, I wouldn't want to live my life without them. (I do think that some gourmet raw fooders get carried away with the nuts though--I believe we ought to eat mostly fruits and veggies with just a few overt fats like nuts and avos.)
So for now, I'm not an 811 girl. I may be a flirt, but I'm not ready for a commitment. I will eat fruit all day if that's all I want and need an easy day. I love fruit! I love salad! I may even eat like that most of the time. But I won't climb into someone's box. I'm going to eat what I feel like my body and my heart is telling me to eat.
It does make me feel better, on my uber busy days or days when I can't be bothered to do anything else, that somebody thinks I should be eating like that anyway, hee. <3 Mal
Now that the weather is nice, I am really enjoying walking around the park that is across the street from my work at lunch. I don't try to "feel the burn," it is just a meditative, joyful time for me to celebrate being outdoors, the beauty of Spring, the fresh air and whatever sunshine we get in April in Oregon. Sometimes I listen to praise music on my iphone, sometimes I don't and just think and talk to God. It really makes the second half of the work day go well, with less stress.
I have been flirting with 811 "low fat raw vegan." It's called 811 or 80-10-10 because you eat 80% of your calories from carbs, 10% protein, and 10% fat. I've trolled around Dr. Doug Graham's website and gone on message boads like this one. It's interesting. I'm skeptical but intrigued. What appeals: everyone looks super healthy, seems very happy and active. Like, uber active, doing marathons and triathalons and whatnot. Obviously they feel good and have lots of energy. I also like the laziness of the diet: Eat fruit! All day long! Eat a salad for dinner. The end. So little food prep! So easy! Even I can manage to make a kick-butt salad once a day. What doesn't appeal: Eat fruit. Only fruit. All day long. And for a big fun suprise, eat a salad! Woo! Seems a wee bit monotonous and I don't know that I could stick with it. There is no onion, garlic, spice, or even salt on this diet. No honey or other natural sweeteners. Also: the people on these forums are true believers. Like, scarily so. 811 is their Rawligion. They won't even let you post a picture of a food that is not a fruit or a salad, seriously. They won't let anyone who does not agree 100% with them even post on their forums, and treat Dr. Graham like a messiah. Now, I'm sure Dr. Graham is a heckuva guy, but I don't need a savior. I've got one, thanks! And yes, I worry about nutritional deficiencies over time. I think legumes, nuts, avocados are nutrient dense and besides, I wouldn't want to live my life without them. (I do think that some gourmet raw fooders get carried away with the nuts though--I believe we ought to eat mostly fruits and veggies with just a few overt fats like nuts and avos.)
So for now, I'm not an 811 girl. I may be a flirt, but I'm not ready for a commitment. I will eat fruit all day if that's all I want and need an easy day. I love fruit! I love salad! I may even eat like that most of the time. But I won't climb into someone's box. I'm going to eat what I feel like my body and my heart is telling me to eat.
It does make me feel better, on my uber busy days or days when I can't be bothered to do anything else, that somebody thinks I should be eating like that anyway, hee. <3 Mal
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Released 80 lbs! Woo-hoo!
Hi Everyone! Last week was hard because I caught a cold, but good because it only lasted 3-4 days. I am sure I bounced back quickly because of my healthy diet. YAY! When I was SAD colds would always last a minimum 12-14 days or longer and usually turn into bronchitis and kick up my asthma and make me absolutely miserable. So I am even more sure that this is the right path for me!
Easter was hard (the bunny got me and I gave in to cooked food like Mom's potato salad and even robbed an Easter basket for some chocolate, which was super sad because I had been sugar abstinant since Jan. 1 and blew it. :( ) So I was very happy to have the inintiative start right after that so I could make an official fresh start.
My appetite was down from the cold so I was able to eat nearly all-raw all week, and released an astonishing 9+ lbs. I am now down 80 lbs on raw overall. Woo-hoo! Very thrilled with the results.
I have been flirting with low-fat raw vegan, ala 811, but the last few days I have gotten sooo hungry, I've actually given in and eaten some cooked food at night (and some of it had dairy, huge NO for me.) I'm going back to what works for me, which is: if it is raw and sugar-free, eat it and smile. I'm glad to get back to exercising this week. I missed it when I was sick. Raw love to all of y'all and have a great week!
Easter was hard (the bunny got me and I gave in to cooked food like Mom's potato salad and even robbed an Easter basket for some chocolate, which was super sad because I had been sugar abstinant since Jan. 1 and blew it. :( ) So I was very happy to have the inintiative start right after that so I could make an official fresh start.
My appetite was down from the cold so I was able to eat nearly all-raw all week, and released an astonishing 9+ lbs. I am now down 80 lbs on raw overall. Woo-hoo! Very thrilled with the results.
I have been flirting with low-fat raw vegan, ala 811, but the last few days I have gotten sooo hungry, I've actually given in and eaten some cooked food at night (and some of it had dairy, huge NO for me.) I'm going back to what works for me, which is: if it is raw and sugar-free, eat it and smile. I'm glad to get back to exercising this week. I missed it when I was sick. Raw love to all of y'all and have a great week!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
15 Reasons To Eat Raw
by Rachel Luther
1. Imagine jumping out of bed in the morning feeling totally awake with less
sleep, healthy, vibrant and ready to tackle anything your day has to offer with
pure positivity.
2. Many people feel relief from ailments, illness and disease due to an increase
in nutrients and an elimination of toxins. Try starting off by replacing
processed foods with more raw options. Instead of a processed granola bar,
try some almonds and dried fruit.
3. Imagine excess weight melting off effortlessly without counting calories, fat
grams or carbohydrates … and that’s just a side effect!
4. Enzymes, enzymes, enzymes! We are helping our body tremendously by
consuming foods jam packed with these miracle workers! They are the
catalysts for every process in our body, without them we could not function.
We are born with a limited supply so the more we bring into our body
without drawing upon its own reserves, the better. Enzymes are sensitive and
are destroyed with heat/cooking over 118 degrees F.
5. Depleted enzymes, lack of vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants contribute to
aging and decreased immunity. Eating raw slows down the aging process
significantly; giving your skin a glorious glow like no other skin cream or
elixir could ever hope to achieve. They say a raw foodie is easy to spot!
6. Most of the water content in food is lost through cooking. Fruit and vegetables
are filled with the most purified water you can ever consume; manufactured
and filtered by none other than the earth! Struggling to consume 8 glasses
per day? Fruit and vegetables count!
7. Cooking destroys 50% of the protein in our food. Raw vegetables, seeds, nuts
and sprouts are rich in protein, which are 100% bioavailable to us, meaning
they are very easily absorbed.
8. Heated fats are linked to most major diseases, including heart disease and
cancer. Raw fats from avocados, nuts, seeds, olives and coconut are
extremely healthy for us. They protect our brain, our organs and lubricate
our joints, nerves and bones. These tasty fats contain the enzyme lipase which
actually burns excess body fat!
9. By eating a plant-based, vegan diet you will not only be supporting friendly
farmers but you will be an active environmentalist by reducing your
ecological footprint. Animals raised for our consumption take up a significant,
ever-expanding portion of our land, contributing to deforestation (less
vegetation = less oxygen) and animal waste running into and polluting our
water.
10. Elevated moods, focus, clarity, gratitude and a true appreciation for life are
commonly felt by raw foodists.
11. Even with weight loss, the face remains full and youthful, never gaunt. The
body repairs itself, depositing curves in all the right places as a beautiful,
new body emerges.
12. Results can be seen and felt within days as your body thanks you and works
like crazy to become healthy once again.
13. A raw food diet will ensure that your body will maintain the proper pH
balance and will never became too acidic (an acidic body is where disease
and illness happily flourish). Raw foods are alkalinizing.
14. “Living foods create living bodies, dead foods create dead bodies.” (Dr. Ann
Wigmore) Need I say more!
15. Taking care and loving yourself is the most important thing you will ever do.
It will produce a domino effect and can become contagious! So spread the love!
1. Imagine jumping out of bed in the morning feeling totally awake with less
sleep, healthy, vibrant and ready to tackle anything your day has to offer with
pure positivity.
2. Many people feel relief from ailments, illness and disease due to an increase
in nutrients and an elimination of toxins. Try starting off by replacing
processed foods with more raw options. Instead of a processed granola bar,
try some almonds and dried fruit.
3. Imagine excess weight melting off effortlessly without counting calories, fat
grams or carbohydrates … and that’s just a side effect!
4. Enzymes, enzymes, enzymes! We are helping our body tremendously by
consuming foods jam packed with these miracle workers! They are the
catalysts for every process in our body, without them we could not function.
We are born with a limited supply so the more we bring into our body
without drawing upon its own reserves, the better. Enzymes are sensitive and
are destroyed with heat/cooking over 118 degrees F.
5. Depleted enzymes, lack of vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants contribute to
aging and decreased immunity. Eating raw slows down the aging process
significantly; giving your skin a glorious glow like no other skin cream or
elixir could ever hope to achieve. They say a raw foodie is easy to spot!
6. Most of the water content in food is lost through cooking. Fruit and vegetables
are filled with the most purified water you can ever consume; manufactured
and filtered by none other than the earth! Struggling to consume 8 glasses
per day? Fruit and vegetables count!
7. Cooking destroys 50% of the protein in our food. Raw vegetables, seeds, nuts
and sprouts are rich in protein, which are 100% bioavailable to us, meaning
they are very easily absorbed.
8. Heated fats are linked to most major diseases, including heart disease and
cancer. Raw fats from avocados, nuts, seeds, olives and coconut are
extremely healthy for us. They protect our brain, our organs and lubricate
our joints, nerves and bones. These tasty fats contain the enzyme lipase which
actually burns excess body fat!
9. By eating a plant-based, vegan diet you will not only be supporting friendly
farmers but you will be an active environmentalist by reducing your
ecological footprint. Animals raised for our consumption take up a significant,
ever-expanding portion of our land, contributing to deforestation (less
vegetation = less oxygen) and animal waste running into and polluting our
water.
10. Elevated moods, focus, clarity, gratitude and a true appreciation for life are
commonly felt by raw foodists.
11. Even with weight loss, the face remains full and youthful, never gaunt. The
body repairs itself, depositing curves in all the right places as a beautiful,
new body emerges.
12. Results can be seen and felt within days as your body thanks you and works
like crazy to become healthy once again.
13. A raw food diet will ensure that your body will maintain the proper pH
balance and will never became too acidic (an acidic body is where disease
and illness happily flourish). Raw foods are alkalinizing.
14. “Living foods create living bodies, dead foods create dead bodies.” (Dr. Ann
Wigmore) Need I say more!
15. Taking care and loving yourself is the most important thing you will ever do.
It will produce a domino effect and can become contagious! So spread the love!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Working It Out
Today was a fun day. My kids got back from Spring vacation at the coast with their grandmother (my ex-MIL) and I went out to lunch with my mom and daughter. They ate Mexican, I ate raw with a salad. Iceberg lettuce is not to exciting or nutritious, but hey, ya do what you gotta do, am I right? Besides, I had whipped up some faux Thai wraps earlier (spiralized 1 beet, 1/4 sweet onion, 1/2 a zucchini, and julienned a couple carrots and marinaded them all in a mango-lime-cilantro dressing. Then I ground up some almonds soaked and rinsed and flavored with nama shoyu and mixed the crunchy bits into the marinaded veggies. Then I filled a couple of romaine leaves with the yummy melange and used more marinade as a dipping sauce. Divine!) Any how, I wasn't too hungry at the restaurant, which was a good thing. :)
Then we went treasuring hunting (aka shopping) and my daughter found some cute clothes and I got a great book about training for walking and running for women over 40.
I must have been inspired because after I got back from taking care of Mom and having fun with her, the kids and I went and worked out at the gym. This is significant because it was the first work out I've tried since my surgery (surgeon asked me not to exercise for 6 weeks) and because usually after taking care of my mom all day (she's in a wheel chair) and running around with her for 12 hrs, I am usually EXHAUSTED at the end of the day. But today, I was able to have a great time with her and still have plenty of energy to work out.
My work out was great too. I've barely lost any ground on my program. I walked a little shorter duration and a tiny bit slower, but I still got in a solid 30 min. at a decent clip. Since my surgery was a hernia repair, I still can't get back to weight lifting yet, but I'm thrilled to get back to the treadmill and just walking around the park on my lunch hour at work. (I used to call it the 'Dreadmill' because I hated it so much. Now, I'm rocking out on it, grooving to my tunes and getting happy.)
I think I bounced back from surgery a lot faster by being raw. That's the raw difference for you!
Then we went treasuring hunting (aka shopping) and my daughter found some cute clothes and I got a great book about training for walking and running for women over 40.
I must have been inspired because after I got back from taking care of Mom and having fun with her, the kids and I went and worked out at the gym. This is significant because it was the first work out I've tried since my surgery (surgeon asked me not to exercise for 6 weeks) and because usually after taking care of my mom all day (she's in a wheel chair) and running around with her for 12 hrs, I am usually EXHAUSTED at the end of the day. But today, I was able to have a great time with her and still have plenty of energy to work out.
My work out was great too. I've barely lost any ground on my program. I walked a little shorter duration and a tiny bit slower, but I still got in a solid 30 min. at a decent clip. Since my surgery was a hernia repair, I still can't get back to weight lifting yet, but I'm thrilled to get back to the treadmill and just walking around the park on my lunch hour at work. (I used to call it the 'Dreadmill' because I hated it so much. Now, I'm rocking out on it, grooving to my tunes and getting happy.)
I think I bounced back from surgery a lot faster by being raw. That's the raw difference for you!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Giving My Brat A Time-Out
I've recently been looking into a new way to deal with addictions and compulsions, as explored by Rational Recovery. They talk about the part of you who will do anything for your drug of choice as the Beast brain. They are very different than the 12-Step movement, and I find it intriguing.
I've always felt like there were two parts of me: the rational intelligent Grown-up, and the lazy, stubborn, compulsive Brat. My Grown-up says, "Healthy food is great for us. Have these nice kale chips." The Brat says, "I want candy and junk food!" Grown-up says, "Exercise is fun and will make us look and feel amazing." The Brat says, "I want to play on the computer!" The Grown-up says, "Woah, look at these bills, better tighten our belts this month." My Brat says, "I want clothes/kitchen gadgets/entertainment and I want it now, no way will I save up for it!" My Grown-up says, "Oh my so much to do, better get cracking on the cat box, making some healthy raw snacks, doing that paperwork..." and the Brat responds, "I don't wanna!" or even more sneaky: "I'll do it later."
I struggle to keep my Grown-up in charge. I feel like the Brat is a remnant of my damaged childhood. She says, "I'm hurting. I need comfort. I don't want to do what I'm supposed to do, I just want to play." I try to feel compassion for her. But I need to keep her safe. Because she is really me! I can't let her die of overeating, no matter how relentlessly she begs and tries to wear me down. I can't let her goof off until my house is a wreck and I suffer the consequences of not meeting my responsibilities.
The Brat is an expert con. She says things like, "We deserve this!" "Just one bite." "Just this once." "It doesn't matter!" "I'm too tired!" "I never get to have fun!" "That's too much work!" "Maybe later/tomorrow/next year."
I need to stay in charge. I've seen signs that the Brat is trying to throw a tantrum lately, and I've got to lovingly nip it in the bud. She has proven herself unworthy of making decisions, and I've voted her out as Commander in Chief of me. I give her a time-out by having positive affirmations I say when she starts yapping in my ear. "I deserve to be healthy." "One bite will lead to 50 and I'll be back where I was. I choose to say no." "Just this once is what you said last time. I am strong and capable. I make good choices." "My health matters to me a lot. I matter to the people I love." "Eating right and exercising will give me lots of energy." "Changing my life is nothing BUT fun. There is a whole world waiting for me to heal and explore." "Anything worth having takes effort. But I deserve to feel good. I'm up to the task!" "There is no later, there is only now. No time like the present! I'm not waiting for my life to begin."
Strategies for keeping my Grown-up in charge: affirmations, list-making to let me see tangible evidence of my progress, routines to keep me on track, gentle rules to give me guidance and keep me accountable.
I've always felt like there were two parts of me: the rational intelligent Grown-up, and the lazy, stubborn, compulsive Brat. My Grown-up says, "Healthy food is great for us. Have these nice kale chips." The Brat says, "I want candy and junk food!" Grown-up says, "Exercise is fun and will make us look and feel amazing." The Brat says, "I want to play on the computer!" The Grown-up says, "Woah, look at these bills, better tighten our belts this month." My Brat says, "I want clothes/kitchen gadgets/entertainment and I want it now, no way will I save up for it!" My Grown-up says, "Oh my so much to do, better get cracking on the cat box, making some healthy raw snacks, doing that paperwork..." and the Brat responds, "I don't wanna!" or even more sneaky: "I'll do it later."
I struggle to keep my Grown-up in charge. I feel like the Brat is a remnant of my damaged childhood. She says, "I'm hurting. I need comfort. I don't want to do what I'm supposed to do, I just want to play." I try to feel compassion for her. But I need to keep her safe. Because she is really me! I can't let her die of overeating, no matter how relentlessly she begs and tries to wear me down. I can't let her goof off until my house is a wreck and I suffer the consequences of not meeting my responsibilities.
The Brat is an expert con. She says things like, "We deserve this!" "Just one bite." "Just this once." "It doesn't matter!" "I'm too tired!" "I never get to have fun!" "That's too much work!" "Maybe later/tomorrow/next year."
I need to stay in charge. I've seen signs that the Brat is trying to throw a tantrum lately, and I've got to lovingly nip it in the bud. She has proven herself unworthy of making decisions, and I've voted her out as Commander in Chief of me. I give her a time-out by having positive affirmations I say when she starts yapping in my ear. "I deserve to be healthy." "One bite will lead to 50 and I'll be back where I was. I choose to say no." "Just this once is what you said last time. I am strong and capable. I make good choices." "My health matters to me a lot. I matter to the people I love." "Eating right and exercising will give me lots of energy." "Changing my life is nothing BUT fun. There is a whole world waiting for me to heal and explore." "Anything worth having takes effort. But I deserve to feel good. I'm up to the task!" "There is no later, there is only now. No time like the present! I'm not waiting for my life to begin."
Strategies for keeping my Grown-up in charge: affirmations, list-making to let me see tangible evidence of my progress, routines to keep me on track, gentle rules to give me guidance and keep me accountable.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Simply Raw
I just watched "Simply Raw- Reversing Diabetes in 30 Days." It follows six people who are all diabetics; 4 are Type ll and two are Type l. None of them start out health conscious; they are all eating typical fast-food SAD diet. They go to Arizona to Dr. Cousen's Tree of Life Center. All get off of insulin, blood pressure meds, lose over 20 lbs in the month, it is just amazing. One guy leaves after 20 days; he just can't hack it. Another guy (one of the Type l diabetics) hitch hikes into Mexico and gets drunk, just really plastered, and eats a lot of crap food. He does come back though, and ends up with good results, lowering his insulin from 70 units a day to only 5 in 30 days.
Diabetes has been something I have feared since I was a teenager. I have been not just overweight, but obese, pretty much my whole life. Every doctor I've ever gone to has told me that I WILL get diabetes, it is just a matter of time. When I weighed over 400 lbs (and I'm 5' 2") I was terrified that I had it. By some miracle, I dodged the bullet. I think it is because, although I was a compulsive eater, addicted to fast food, addicted to sugar and cheese and meat, I also ate a lot of fruits and veggies. I'd educated myself about good nutrition, and I'd try to do the right things; I would just fail over and over because of the compulsive demons I fought.
Working in the medical field, I know what a disaster diabetes is. It is really a slow death sentence. That's not a nice thing to say, but it is the reality. It is a theif that steals your health. It steals your vision, it wrecks your kidneys so you walk around with poison in your blood that you lose the ability to filter and get rid of, it makes all your blood vessels leak which starts to kill your heart and your circulation. You lose feeling in your feet, because they are literally being starved of blood. You know that pins and needles feeling when your foot goes to sleep and how you hate it? Some people have that ALL THE TIME.
I realize now, I was just waiting for diabetes to arrive. I was expecting it; I was living my life in anticipation of my death sentence. I am not stupid. I know the life expectancy of a 400 pound woman who is only 5' 2". I was killing myself, and I knew it. I just felt powerless to stop. I made out a will at 35. I wrote "good bye" letters to my children with so many tears streaking the paper that you can hardly read it. I felt like I was so lucky to have such a great family, a job I love, and even with my crappy income I know I am far more blessed than 90 % of people in the world. It was like I won the life lottery, and I was literally eating it all away. I felt like I was on the highway to Hell, and there were exits, but I wouldn't let myself take them. Instead, I lived in fear, and in a prison of pain. My back ached, always. My feet hurt terribly, my knees would painfully buckle under me. I would make myself exercise, but it would be like walking on nails, buried in sand (because it was so hard to propel myself forward) and with no air.
I felt unworthy of love. Who was going to love a 400 pound woman and want her as a life partner? No one. I made sure men knew that I knew that I was out of the question. I was every body's buddy. I was hilarious--maybe people might like me for that? It's hard to be the life of the party when you are literally dying inside. It's hard to watch everyone else out doing what you'd love to do--riding bikes and going on water slides, riding roller coasters that you won't fit on, walking around exploring cool places you'd love to see, but it is too much agony to carry yourself around to see them. I live in one of the most beautiful places in nature on earth, but I couldn't hike the trails or see the waterfalls.
I was in a prison. That I built myself. It was made of pounds and pounds of pain- mental, spiritual, physical, emotional--a thousand white hot suns of pain. And the whole time, I had the key.
I asked God to save me because I could not (or would not) save myself. He led me to freedom and to this life style. He gave me the power to believe in myself again, to trust myself after 40 yrs of lying to myself. I told Him I would do anything at all required; I was absolutely willing and ready to be healed. I told Him how grateful I was for my life, for all my family and friends and the wonder and beauty of this life, and that I didn't want to lose it. I asked Him to take away the compulsion, to give me the strength to bear temptation, to let my intelligence overcome my impulses. And, He did.
I absolutely believe He led me to the people and the tools that have allowed me to heal. He let me buy a dehydrator and blender and food processor back when I thought, "why the heck am I getting these? I'll never use them." (How I snicker at that now.) He let me meet Chasmyn and go to the Blossoming Lotus, the first living food restaurant I'd ever heard of. Through her, I found out about Raw Fu and all the other websites and blogs I use now. I found out about Raw Food Rehab and I get huge support there. I have books and ebooks and everything I need. He even finds me great deals on cheap organics so I can afford it all!
I am no longer waiting for diabetes to happen to me. I have laid down 60 pounds of pain; I trust my body to release the rest, and to heal every cell, organ, and system in me. I expect only healing, health, vibrant energy, and love.
I am slowly opening the door to my jail cell, and peeking out. I poke one toe out the door. It is a beautiful day. I am free.
Diabetes has been something I have feared since I was a teenager. I have been not just overweight, but obese, pretty much my whole life. Every doctor I've ever gone to has told me that I WILL get diabetes, it is just a matter of time. When I weighed over 400 lbs (and I'm 5' 2") I was terrified that I had it. By some miracle, I dodged the bullet. I think it is because, although I was a compulsive eater, addicted to fast food, addicted to sugar and cheese and meat, I also ate a lot of fruits and veggies. I'd educated myself about good nutrition, and I'd try to do the right things; I would just fail over and over because of the compulsive demons I fought.
Working in the medical field, I know what a disaster diabetes is. It is really a slow death sentence. That's not a nice thing to say, but it is the reality. It is a theif that steals your health. It steals your vision, it wrecks your kidneys so you walk around with poison in your blood that you lose the ability to filter and get rid of, it makes all your blood vessels leak which starts to kill your heart and your circulation. You lose feeling in your feet, because they are literally being starved of blood. You know that pins and needles feeling when your foot goes to sleep and how you hate it? Some people have that ALL THE TIME.
I realize now, I was just waiting for diabetes to arrive. I was expecting it; I was living my life in anticipation of my death sentence. I am not stupid. I know the life expectancy of a 400 pound woman who is only 5' 2". I was killing myself, and I knew it. I just felt powerless to stop. I made out a will at 35. I wrote "good bye" letters to my children with so many tears streaking the paper that you can hardly read it. I felt like I was so lucky to have such a great family, a job I love, and even with my crappy income I know I am far more blessed than 90 % of people in the world. It was like I won the life lottery, and I was literally eating it all away. I felt like I was on the highway to Hell, and there were exits, but I wouldn't let myself take them. Instead, I lived in fear, and in a prison of pain. My back ached, always. My feet hurt terribly, my knees would painfully buckle under me. I would make myself exercise, but it would be like walking on nails, buried in sand (because it was so hard to propel myself forward) and with no air.
I felt unworthy of love. Who was going to love a 400 pound woman and want her as a life partner? No one. I made sure men knew that I knew that I was out of the question. I was every body's buddy. I was hilarious--maybe people might like me for that? It's hard to be the life of the party when you are literally dying inside. It's hard to watch everyone else out doing what you'd love to do--riding bikes and going on water slides, riding roller coasters that you won't fit on, walking around exploring cool places you'd love to see, but it is too much agony to carry yourself around to see them. I live in one of the most beautiful places in nature on earth, but I couldn't hike the trails or see the waterfalls.
I was in a prison. That I built myself. It was made of pounds and pounds of pain- mental, spiritual, physical, emotional--a thousand white hot suns of pain. And the whole time, I had the key.
I asked God to save me because I could not (or would not) save myself. He led me to freedom and to this life style. He gave me the power to believe in myself again, to trust myself after 40 yrs of lying to myself. I told Him I would do anything at all required; I was absolutely willing and ready to be healed. I told Him how grateful I was for my life, for all my family and friends and the wonder and beauty of this life, and that I didn't want to lose it. I asked Him to take away the compulsion, to give me the strength to bear temptation, to let my intelligence overcome my impulses. And, He did.
I absolutely believe He led me to the people and the tools that have allowed me to heal. He let me buy a dehydrator and blender and food processor back when I thought, "why the heck am I getting these? I'll never use them." (How I snicker at that now.) He let me meet Chasmyn and go to the Blossoming Lotus, the first living food restaurant I'd ever heard of. Through her, I found out about Raw Fu and all the other websites and blogs I use now. I found out about Raw Food Rehab and I get huge support there. I have books and ebooks and everything I need. He even finds me great deals on cheap organics so I can afford it all!
I am no longer waiting for diabetes to happen to me. I have laid down 60 pounds of pain; I trust my body to release the rest, and to heal every cell, organ, and system in me. I expect only healing, health, vibrant energy, and love.
I am slowly opening the door to my jail cell, and peeking out. I poke one toe out the door. It is a beautiful day. I am free.
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