Sunday, February 28, 2010

She's Ba-ack!

So I have been MIA for oh, a year or more, sheesh. I wasn't eating raw, so I stopped coming by. But I have heard the siren call of all the beautiful, living food I had been eating, and missed the positive, uplifting people I "met" here. So I'm back, with a "raw as I can" plan. Simply put, I am going to go as raw as possible, planning for raw, preparing for raw, but not stressing if I don't manage 100% raw, as long as I stay 100% healthy. So a bite or two of tofu or some steamed veggies once in a while? YES. Snickers bar? NO.

While I was out, I did manage to accomplish a few valuable things:

1. I gave up soda pop, and carbonated beverages of all kinds.
2. I gave up artificial sweeteners, aka, aspertame, splenda, the devil, etc.
3. I gave up fast food, in every form.

That was last year, November 2009. I am a compulsive eater (recovering, now) and fast food had been my absolute downfall of an addiction. I'd go several times a day, at my worst. I had a hard time even passing one by. Do you know how hard that is to confess to a group as healthy as this one? But it is my past, and I own it. I am in extreme gratitude that it is, in fact, the past, and not my reality now.

4. I released 50 lbs

(Or more, haven't weighed in for a while, it was 50 last time I checked but the clothes are getting baggier. I had added back some weight before losing it, as was my way, so I am right around the same weight I was last time I did the first 30 days of the 100 Day Challenge.)

5. I gave up caffeine.
(That one scared me. I loved ice tea, loved it! I drank it all year 'round, unsweetened, by the gallon, literally. I also liked foofie coffee drinks that were really desserts, like caramel frappacinos with extra caramel. I had a lot of fear about detoxing off caffeine, like that I would have a horrible migraine or be utterly exhausted. Actually, I had no problems at all. Yay! Now my preferred beverage is ice-cold water. I will occasionally have an herbal tea, though.)

Then, this year:

6. I gave up sugar.

That one is hard, man. I have to pray daily to keep away from that one, and to keep myself honest about it. At first, I'd take a spoonful of peanut butter, NOT the natural kind, and I know it was to get at the sugar. I am also staying away from desserts, other than fruit. For now, I am not having honey or raw agave syrup either, again, just to be honest about the fact that they are really just slightly healthier versions of sugar. I fear they'd be gateway drugs, and I can't risk my "food sobriety" at this point.

7. I gave up meat.

I am so happy about that! I have vegetarian kids, and haven't made meat for them for 12 yrs. But my parents and all the rest of my family are all meat-eaters and every holiday, I would cheat and eat the meat. I would cheat and go out to fast food all while being "vegetarian" at home. I would feel horrible guilt: I KNOW how bad it is for the enviroment. I KNOW that animals have souls and feelings and just want to live. I KNOW how bad it is for your health. And yet, I was weak, I was addicted, and I'd do it anyway. I cannot even adequately express how happy I am that I am done with meat, forever, by the grace of God. (Don't want to offend anyone, that is my truth. You are entitled to your truth, too.)

So I've made huge progress, and I am happy and content. I don't miss what I've given up (except the sugar, especially certain times of month, wink wink.) It is not a struggle. I do not suffer.

I am impatient. I want to release the rest of this weight, now! I want to start living life to the fullest. I still have sooooooooooo far to go. (I weigh around 350, remember.) I was exercising 5-6 days a week, but I had some hernia sugery last week so I can't get back to it yet until the doc gives me the ok, and it is killing me to have to rest and recover slowly. I want to go back to work, but it has only been a week, I know it is too soon.

So for now, I am trying to cultivate peace and patience. Now! (hee.)