Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 26 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

Well, it's getting interesting around here! We have a little debate going about how to break a fast. I knew I had heard that David Rainosheck now says that green smoothies are the best way to break a fast.

I had first read that you are supposed to eat soaked prunes for a few days, up to 6 for a long juice feast like mine (anything over 12 days). Then you have juicy fruits, while still drinking green juice and really hold off on adding back non-juicy fruits like bananas and avocados till after you've added back green salads, in the last few days of breaking the fast.

But then I saw the Rainoshecks on youtube and in an interview with both of them with their sweet new baby, he explains that green smoothies are the new, preferred way to break the fast. That's fine with me, I am not so crazy about the whole prune idea.

And in Real Juice Daily, Penni writes about how she was getting ready to break her 92 day feast (92 days! My cow, Penni, how I admire you!) and she was glad that the new protocol was green smoothies but then the power went out and she got stuck with the soaked prune method after all!

Any whoodle, I am guessing I will go with the green smoothie method, combined with some soaked prunes, and continue some green juice while I break the fast (after 40 days, of course!) The prunes are to ya know, get you moving, *wink wink* but honestly, maybe I am a mutant, but I have been *wink wink* moving all along. Maybe it's because I take magnesium? Anyway, I love a good plum, but mushy soaked prunes don't sound great to me, and I literally have not eaten a thing in 26 days. Maybe by day 40 they'll sound good! Don't bet the farm. :)

What Day I'm On: 26 out of 40, 65% of the way there

How's It Going? Today was good--no headache, just a twinge of a bellyache, which I still think is related to my back strain. Or maybe it's because I have taken to drinking Penni's "salsa juice" which has onion and garlic and a wee lil bit of jalapeno in it? I love it so. It is quite yumfull. I may lay off it for a day and see if it helps my tummy. I am trying to see if I can get rid of any parasites, as gross as that sounds. The only thing grosser? Is having the PARASITES STAY IN ME. I'm told I need wormwood and some other herbs to do a right and proper job of it. I will have to cruise by Limbo ("See the famous 'Wall of Herbs'! Over 700 varieties!") to see if they have any fluke-be-gone or worm-away or similar.

My back strain is better today. I'm convinced it's giving me just enough heck so I don't forget not to be a dork and decide to move heavy inanimate objects for fun anymore. It still hurts when I sit, or drive, or stand from a sitting position. The good thing is that it doesn't hurt at all to walk, so my exercise hasn't been affected. Plus I have access to an endless supply of ice packs at work and hot and cold running Physical Therapists. My back strain doesn't stand a chance in the face of such good stuff coming my way!

In Real Juice Daily, Penni wrote about the theory that you go back 120 days in time, spiritually, for every one day that you are juice feasting. Since I am 40, that who have me back to age 27 right now. When I was 27, hmm, ok, Nora would have been 4 and Joe was 2. It's about the time I decided I couldn't bear to have them in daycare anymore (too many fears from my past combined with bad experiences with my kids' daycare) and I pulled them out and quit my job on a whim and started MY OWN daycare. I knew how much I was paying for daycare and I figured, there was decent money in it, I love kids, and how else is a single mom going to stay home with her own? Plus I had been a preschool teacher just out of college, so I knew I loved it and had some experience. I am wondering if this is what brought up, in some way, me sharing about the babysitter who abused me in my post on Day 22? Anyway, it was a bold (maybe foolhardy) move, but it all worked out, and while we didn't live high on the hog, I did get to be there for the precious childhoods of the people I love most in this world.

This whole juice feasting thing? It really is a spiritual journey. They say the longest journey in life is the 18 inches from the head to the heart. I walk the line. Juicy. Life.

Monday, August 30, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 25 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

What Day I'm On: 25 out of 40 (62.5% of the way)

How's It Going? Better today! My headache is gone, thank the Lord! The tummy ache seems to only bother me in the mornings, and the back ache is getting better but is definitely still there. Luckily, it does not keep me from walking or exercising, just sitting. Unluckily, guess what my job has me doing all day? Warming that office chair! But s'ok--there is one way I can sit, leaning way back with the keyboard propped up on my belly, that it doesn't hurt. I will just explain to the patients that I am working around back pain. Since I work in the Physical Therapy department, I'm pretty sure they'll understand!

I know what I did to my back--I moved a very heavy compost container. I knew when I tried to move it that I really ought to get help. When will I learn that I am not Super Mal?! Sorry back! Sorry sciatic nerve that I ticked off! Won't happen again.

I had fun with my kids, going to both of their grandparents' houses like we usually do on Sundays. Lunch at my ex-MIL who nodded approvingly at my juice and asked how much longer. (Only 15 days! Woot!) My mom gave me some good-natured ribbing, "That looks like bile!" so I gave her some back, "Yep, looks like bile and almost as tasty!" We both laughed pretty hard. I know that she's proud of me for sticking with this.

We went shopping and Mom got me a couple of cardigan sweaters, one in a cheery cotton candy pink and one in a bright lovely turquoise. I wear a lot of black (a LOT of black!) so they'll be nice for a little pop of color and they're perfect for layering. In the Pacific NW, weather is like a box of chocolates--you never know what you're going to get! The cardigans were so cheap--on clearance from Spring, maybe? But that was so nice of Mom--she wouldn't let me talk her out of getting them for me. :)

When I did her wound care, I agree with the doctor, it looks a whole lot better. Yay for homeopathic rememdies! How I would dearly love to get her on raw food, even for a couple of months, the way Rawdawg Rory did for his mom. His mom had awesome results: she released 40 lbs, she got to get off a lot of her medications, and she had some ulcers on her legs that she'd had for more than 3 yrs finally heal up. My mom was raised in the South, and supper isn't supper without some unfortunate animal fried up in Crisco on the plate. She doesn't like sweets, so I can't hook her in with raw desserts, my usual tactic. She does like salad and other veggies so I make a point of bringing over something for her to "try" each week. So far, she loves my version of Thai salad rolls, and my Asian Persuasion Coleslaw (which even has a little raw beet in it and it turns it a gorgeous pink!) I know the garlic and ginger and the cruciferous veggies are great for her. I will hook her in yet! hee hee (insert manachical cackle) No, seriously, I never ever ever nag her about trying raw because that's a great way to make someone hate it. I just bring her "treats." My dad too! He's easier because he loves desserts and green smoothies. Dad has Multiple Sclerosis. They are both in wheelchairs. Mom, who has only one leg, takes care of Dad! She is kind of amazing. Joe, my youngest, has three more years of high school. When he's on to college, I will move in with my parents so I can take care of them more. Their house is all set up for them, and they love being independent. Honestly, it would be easier on me than running across town to their place all the time. They don't need much help--just with the major household chores--Mom does the cooking and laundry and dishes. I do the bathrooms and mopping and vacuuming, etc. I also water their plants and get the mail, little stuff like that. It would be so much easier if I lived there. I could also take over their mortgage payment, since it is about the same as what I pay in rent, and that would take some pressure off them. They'd pay the utilities for all of us, so that would make it a little cheaper for me, too. I just hope they can hold on and stay independent until I get my Joe-ster out of school! But anyway, when I'm living there, I will be eating raw, and I hope they'll just want some of what I'm having, since that's how it worked with my kids.

What I'm Drinking:
Penni's salsa juice from Real Juice Daily. I only use a teensy bit of jalapeno, and a small bit of sweet onion, one clove of garlic, a ton of cilantro and about 15 roma tomatoes, along with some lemon juice, and a couple stalks of celery to make it saltier. It is so good! Have you gotten Real Juice Daily yet? If not, why not? It is such a good read--about so much more than just juicing, although it's a great resource for that too. Penni really goes deep--I found out so much more about her, and it just makes me love her all the more. Plus, she gives me such great ideas.

Detox: I don't think the back pain is detox. I think the back pain was a breathtaking case of temporary dumbness. lol The headache is gone, but probably was from not enough sleep, so I'm working on that. The belly pain seems to be referred pain from the back--those nerves stick together. You tick one off, you tick them all off! Every morning, my nose runs like a faucet and I sneeze a bit, and I'm pretty sure that is some detox. Let it out! Let it all out. That's why I'm here, people.

On My Mind:
As I dream of breaking the fast (stay in the day! I know, I know. But I think about it, ok?!) I am planning on doing two days of smoothies, to reintroduce fiber, and then progressing to mono meals of fruit and then adding in some salad. And then, I would like to have a celebration meal at Blossoming Lotus with my Portland/Vancouver pals. This would be on Friday, September 17. Is anyone up for it?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 24 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

What Day I'm On: 24 out of 40, 60% of the way

It is Sunday again, and time to focus on gratitude! (I just love Sunday!) Actually, I do gratitude work every day (I'm that lucky! lol) but Sunday is the day that I blabber on about it in my blog. :)

First good news is about my car, which decided to take up SMOKING on Friday! I called Stanley, my awesome mechanic. Stanley is from Jamaica, and that's where he learned to fix cars. He said in Jamaica, all the cars are really old because it costs so much to import new ones, and people just hold on to their cars "fahevah mon." And so Stanley is uniquely qualified to keep old cars running, ad infinitum, and to do it on the super cheap. Which makes him uniquely qualified to be my mechanic! Plus, he makes house calls! Who does that, right? Stanley does. So Stanley came over and saw exactly what the problem was (a bad hose. It hadn't taken up smoking, it was just steaming mad at me. :) And since my car is really old, and this is the 2nd hose he's had to replace lately, he just went ahead and replaced all the other hoses. And only took 2 hrs (including time spent running to the parts shop) and only charged me $60. I'm telling you, every single mom should have a Stanley!

So today I thank God for wheels that get my family where we need to go safely, for a non-smoking car, and for Stanley, a great mechanic and a heckuva nice guy. Bonus: It's rally ke-wel to hear him talk, mon!

My second thing I'm going to spout gratitude about today is about healing. As most of y'all know, Joe is my 15 yr old son and he had a major surgery on his back in June to correct severe scoliosis (crooked spine, and in his case, a small hunchback.) His surgeons had told us this was a rough operation for boys especially, and that he would probably be on narcotics up to six months to handle the pain. And at first, it was really tough, all he could do was lay down because the pain was excruciating when he'd try to sit. Still, he chose to only take pain medicine for about 3 wks, not 6 months. And he has been faithfully doing his rehabilitation exercises, as well as getting plenty of rest and as much raw food as he will let me poke down him.

I had been really worried that when school started again, next week, he wouldn't be able to sit for a whole day in class, that it would be too painful. But, right on time, about 2 wks ago, he started to be able to sit for longer and longer periods of time with no pain! And now, it is almost as if he had never even had the operation! He is still restricted from a lot of activities: bending at the waist, lifting more than 10 pounds, twisting ("It's really interfering with my yoga!" he quips) but I feel confident he's going to be able to get through school just fine.

As if that were not enough to be thankful for, my mom, who's had a non-healing ulcer on her foot since, I dunno, 3 yrs now? Suddenly started having some healing in it! I've gone over to her house 2-3 times a week to change the dressing ever since she got out of the hospital. She started out with two huge wounds: one on her heel, the size of a peach, and one on the top of her foot, the size of a large grape. (Can you tell I want some fruit?!) Anyway, we already got her heel wound healed, which took me about 2 yrs of trying every natural treatment I had ever heard of for hard to heal wounds. But the top of her foot has worse circulation so it wasn't getting any better and had worsened slightly. Until the last couple of weeks--I've been using ionized water and bee propolis on it, and it did look like it was getting slightly better. Then she went to the doctor, and he said, actually, it's gotten quite a bit better since he last checked it! Yay! Another victory for perserverance!

So I am grateful for this season of healing and for our miraculous bodies, designed by God to take such good care of us if we get out of their way!

How's It Going: Ack, these last few days have been rough. I have a headache, a backache, a belly ache, and temptation has been rearing it's ugly head, a lot. Yesterday, I almost broke my fast over a steamed green bean. A green bean, people! It just looked really, really good, and I wanted it. I wanted it! I've tried adding ginger to my juice for the aches and pains, but I don't notice any change. I don't want to bellyache about it anymore (hee) but I could sure use some prayers if you are so inclined.

What I'm Drinking: I added in a little bit of fruit juice to sweeten up my veggie juice, and can I just say? That first drink of pure watermelon juice was heaven. So sweet and so refreshing! I had several good gulps of it before I adding the rest to my veggie juice. I've not had the dizzy space cadet feeling since taking good advice and adding in the fruit juice. And heck mcdoodle, watermelons sure make a lot of juice! They make juicing a lot more economical. And tasty!

To all my friends-in-the-computer, I hope you have a wonderful week and keep it raw and green! Remember to love yourself, and then go love everybody else just for good measure!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 23 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

I just want to thank you, from my heart, for all the uplifting, compassionate responses to my post yesterday. I think it is important to tell our stories. First, so that we ourselves can have our testimony and feel that victory of overcoming:

I thought I was broken, but I can heal.
I thought I was worthless, and now I know my own worth as a precious, cherished child of God.
I had a river of rage; now in its place run healing streams of acceptance, forgiveness and strength.
I thought that I was a lost cause; but now I know I am never lost, I can always find my way home.

I also wanted to tell my story because there are a lot of walking wounded all around us. You might not be able to see the scars, but they are there. If you also experienced abuse, from a parent, from a lover or a spouse; if someone who was supposed to love you and cherish you instead betrayed that sacred responsibility and hurt you, please know this, from my heart: It isn't your fault. No matter what they tell you, it just isn't. You are precious. You are worthy. You are lovable. And you are not broken, you can heal. You can get past it and go on to create a beautiful life. Never give up. Know that there is love enough: even for this. Even for you. And I will not fail to notice that your loving is a miracle. I love you.

What Day I'm On: 23 out of 40, 57% percent of the way

How's It Going: Still slogging along. I would really like some solid food! lol Even a green smoothie would be great. The aromas of foods wafting and torturing my olefactory system is the hardest. I really wish that I were in a position that I did not have to prepare food for anyone else. You could argue that my kids are teenagers, very capable of making their own food. But I view choosing and preparing their food as an act of love. I like planning it out, anticipating how much they are going to enjoy it, and thinking about all the great nutrition I am giving them. They tell me how much they appreciate it too. I spend a lot of time away from them, working; making their meals is a small way for me to nurture them and connect with them on a daily basis. Plus, I don't want to make this juice feast a huge "thing" and be all diva about it. "I have to be excused from all my responsibilities! I'm fasting, you know!" Still, I won't lie; it is hard. That just makes the victory all the sweeter!

Detox? Itching on my torso. Wondering if it could be from any of my supplements? Or just detox? Hmmm...a mystery! It's not fun but it's totally bearable. I have little pimple-like cysts in my underarms. Progress! I used to get huge boils, bigger than a half-dollar and hugely painful. Now, just wee little bumps that don't bother me.

Now I am wondering about the wisdom of cataloging my detox symptoms. I started doing it just to observe and document to give myself evidence that detox was happening--proof that what I am doing is working and worth it. But if we know that what you focus on expands--well, I don't want a healing crisis expansion! Thoughts? Do I continue? Is there value in it?

Emotional Detox? I think we've had just about enough of that for one week. I'm heading back to the shallow end of the pool for now!

This is a new category I'm adding because it so exciting for me to see, as I am moving the junk OUT, and clearing a path, what is coming IN. I am waking up in the middle of the night again, not because of anxiety attacks, but because I am getting such awesome ideas I just have to get them down. I am definitely writing a book! It is writing itself--it is fun and not a fight to get it down. I am in the flow! I wish I could "flow" and still manage 7 hrs of sleep, though. :)

Another thought:
Yesterday, I was driving Nora to her job and all of the sudden, smoke or steam (don't know which one yet, but I'm rooting for steam!) started just pouring out from under my hood! I managed to get her to work and me back to work (I was only a couple of blocks away, so I risked it.) I got it towed home. This is my 3rd episode of car repairs this year! Is someone trying to tell me to walk more and take the bus?! lol

A new car is out of the question. Not happening. I don't even know how I'm going to afford to repair this one. Again. Why do cars always have such great timing?!

I have to have a working car because Joe starts rehearsing for the fall show. He has been doing community theatre since he was 8 yrs old. He's a really talented comedic actor and was an excellent dancer before his operation put him out of commission for a year. Even knowing that he was having surgery, the directors invited him to be a part of their "Elite Travel Troupe" (that's really what its called, lol) and he will be performing at the International Youth Festival in Aberdeen, Scotland next year. Anyway, the bus doesn't go by where we rehearse and anyway, sometimes rehearsal goes to 11 pm or later. Not a great time to take an hour or more bus trip! So I guess I will give up my fantasies of losing my mechanic's number. At least I'm helping someone finance his summer home! lol

Friday, August 27, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 22 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

Wow! I really want to thank everyone for giving me your opinions on which dress to wear to the International Day of Juice Feasting! I am taking all of the advice to heart. I am glowing with all the sweet things people said! *squee!* Thanks guys! I love you too! As of right now, the Little Black Dress is winning. I feel great about that--I love that dress. Honestly, I love them all. It is really fun to get everyone's opinion on your clothes!

Today, I am going deep, and it's all Penni's fault. lol First, she made a beautiful video that made me cry (at work, hee, I was sneaking and watching because I couldn't wait to get home) Then, she asked me this:

What lies have you been told throughout your life (that you have agreed with) about who you REALLY are?

I had, what you might call, a rough start. My mom got married to my dad because they were teen sweethearts and he was going off to Vietnam. She got pregnant with my sister on her honeymoon (no lie, good Catholic couple those two) and then, a couple of years later, I was a result of the homecoming celebration. But that was about all the celebrating that happened in that marriage--my father came home from Vietnam a very different person than he left. He was "deeply screwed up" was all Mom would say, and I would later find out that he had been unfaithful, developed a problem with alcohol, gambling, and was unable and/or unwilling to try to get a job, and those he got, he didn't have for long. They were divorced by the time I was 2 months old. Mom says she would have gotten one sooner but the courts wouldn't let you divorce while pregnant because they wanted to establish paternity and didn't want to put the stigma of an "out-of-wedlock" birth on the child.

So my mom was a single mom with two little girls. She worked as a waitress and bartender to support us, and we spent a lot of time with a babysitter. That particular babysitter, that we had till I was 5 yrs old, was a 300+ lb woman who already had 8 kids of her own, and was taking care of her mentally ill schizophrenic husband. I really don't know why Mom chose this situation for us. Maybe she didn't have a lot of choices. Maybe she thought that this woman had so much experience with kids. In any case, the babysitter was very abusive toward my sister and I.

I don't remember a whole lot of the details, since I was so little. I do have vivid memories of being spanked with a belt, and punished by having to sit on a super hot radiator grate when I did something wrong. I have waffle patterned scars on the back of both thighs to this day from the burns. She would get enraged if we didn't take a nap, and I remember getting yanked out of bed and spanked for "playing possum." This led to years of sleep problems later on. I also remember that we were never allowed inside the house--that we had to stay in the yard, except to eat, like a dog that you only keep outside. I remember crushing boredom--there were no toys or anything to do. We made mud pies and played house. I remember that we snuck out of the yard all the time and went to a park across the street. Thinking back, this boggles my mind because we were unsupervised and I was 2,3, 4 yrs old at this time! My sister would have been the oldest kid and is only 3 yrs older than me. Why didn't anyone ask about the toddlers alone in a park or call the police? Why didn't they notice us playing in the sewer ditches with broken glass with no shoes on? Why didn't my mom get suspicious about all the burns on me (explained as "accidents") or that I got hysterically upset every time we had to go to the babysitter?

I want to say, right now, that I have done a lot of therapy around these issues and I have forgiven my mom, and even the babysitter. There are no excuses; there is only what happened, and acceptance. I who have been covered by grace, and forgiven of so much, cannot refuse to forgive and give that grace to my mother, who is deeply, deeply sorrowful about what happened. As for the babysitter, she has passed away, and I let those sad days pass with her. I won't let that situation hurt me anymore.

I bring this up because I believe, somewhere, back there, when I was just tiny, I decided that "Big people hurt little people." And I didn't want to be little, or vulnerable, any more. I started padding myself with armor; cushioning life's blows with fat, and turning to food for comfort.

When I was home alone, for hours, after school from 2nd grade on, I'd binge and watch Gilligan's Island and the Brady Bunch until half an hour before my parents got home; then fly around like a banshee and get all my chores done before they got there. No one checked if I had done my homework. No one ever knew if I took a bath or asked if I brushed my teeth. I was a feral child in most ways. The person who raised me, really, besides myself, was my older sister. I was a very laid-back, lazy kid. I drove her absolutely insane. She was responsible for the house; if I didn't get my chores done, it came back on her. We had screaming matches and wounded each other with words.

At school, I was the fat kid, the pariah. I was teased, mercilessly, called every name that you can think of, names that still hurt even though I am so used to it. Kids are cruel. They are hurting, and they act out. I'd hold it together till I got home from school, then cry and stuff it all down. At school, I found some self-esteem in being the smart kid, and in performing arts. I developed a super-friendly, bubbly personality, to compensate for my weight. "Please love me! See, I'm funny! I'm smart!" I felt obnoxious and frenetic, even to myself.

When I was a teen, I was out to prove that I could get a boy to like me. Despite my size, there were a few who did, but I was so clingy and desperate they were quickly spooked. There were more boys who were happy to spend some time with a girl who only valued herself through other's acceptance, and was willing to do a whole lot for any kind of love and affection. There was a lot of guilt and shame with acting out of alignment with my spiritual beliefs. I knew what I was doing was wrong, and felt icky inside, but it didn't stop me.

The story goes on--I married a guy whom I started dating at 17, whom I could be assured would remind me of what I believed of myself: I was fat, therefore unlovable, unworthy, and I should be forever grateful that he deigned to be with me, however verbally abusive he might be. I packed on more and more weight. When I had my kids, I found the strength to get out of that situation, and found myself exactly repeating my mom's situation: married the wrong guy too young and now on my own with a two year old and a 2 wk old.

As a mom, everyone's needs can come before your own. I responded to the stress of single motherhood the same way I had learned to respond to everything: by eating. And over the years, I got bigger and bigger and bigger.

How can you begin to get real with yourself about living a life that is in alignment to who you REALLY are?

Here is where my story gets hopeful. In 1990, I went to see a hypnotherapist to try to address my weight issues. To my huge surprise, what came out in the hypnosis were all the abuse and neglect issues. My therapist, who was also a psychologist, was not surprised at all--she sees this all the time. She told me, rightly, that my real problem was self-esteem, and that I would most likely never be able to deal with my weight until I felt safe enough to let that go. We did a lot of work together, and I worked through a lot of suppressed rage and sadness. Before that, I would have told you, I was just not an angry person. I never got mad at anyone. I didn't realize that I was turning all of that angry in toward myself.

I had a lot of forgiveness work to do. Make no mistake; it is work! I actually decided to put the weight loss on a back burner while I learned to get real with my feelings, and discover who I really am, and release myself, and everyone else, from the issues of my past.

I came to love myself--warts and all. I delight in finding out what I'm good at. I can laugh at my mistakes. I am not perfect, and that's ok. I am perfectly me. I find peace and acceptance, as a precious child of God. He who has always loved me unconditionally has taught me to love myself.

Only now, that I have done this work, have I been able to overcome food addiction issues and allow God to relieve me of my compulsions. I had to believe that I deserved to have that peace, that I was worthy to build a beautiful life. I had to get out of His way so He could help me.

Fat or not, I love me. I believe in myself. I believe God gave a certain pack of gifts, just to me, and is saying, "Ok now, let's see what you can do with this!" And we are both delighted to see what that will be.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 21 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

When I first met Dave, The Raw Food Trucker, and decided to undertake this juice feast, he invited me to a great event that he puts on every year: The International Day of Juice Feasting. This year it's going to be in Seattle at the Lucky Ladies on September 12, from noon to 4. Can't get to Seattle? You can still join me and Dave and several hundred of our closest friends by streaming it live on your computer! All the other details are in the events section here on RFR.

Ever since I found out that I was going to carpool with the fabulous Annette to the event, I have been thinking about what I should wear. As I said in my post yesterday, I haven't really gotten too many new clothes, but the ones I have gotten are all "my favorite." I have firmly resolved that I would rather go starkers than wear stuff I hate, just because it fits, any more. I've narrowed my choices down to three dresses. Since I can't decide, I'm going to let you do it!

These are not the best pictures; my daughter snapped them quickly in the two minutes between her activities yesterday. So ignore the goofy looks on my face and tell me which dress to say yes to:

First, the red one:

I like the color and the geometric design. It is also very comfy and would be good for a long drive and busy day.

Next, the print one:

Ha ha I love the dorky expression on my face and the fact that my cat Hannibal is just determined to be famous on RFR! That's his tail on the left. Ok, back to the dress, this is my daughter's favorite. It is very "me" in many ways: I love hot pink, I love prints, I love flowers, and it is made of that slinky stuff that packs and travels so well without getting all wrinkled. It is also really comfy. See why I can't decide?

Ok, last one: The Little Black Dress

I think this one is really flattering to my curves, and goes nicely with cat, don't you think? This is Hannibal's favorite, since it matches his fur. I usually think you can't go wrong with black, but I don't want to look like I'm at a funeral. This one is also made of slinky stuff and is very packable, wearable, and won't wrinkle on the long drive.

Ok, it's up to you! Vote for which one you prefer and why in the comments! May the best dress win!

What Day I'm On: 21 out of 40, officially "more than half-way there!"

How's It Going? Yesterday was SO MUCH BETTER. I felt good, except for aches and pains from exercising. Normally I would just pop some ibuprofen and knock out those bad boys, but I was proud of myself for not giving in and just limping through it. But the dizziness and light headedness? Gone! Of all things, we (the nurse at the Nurse Treatment Room) and I think it was low blood sugar. That makes some sense because I wasn't drinking enough juice, only 2.5 quarts or so, and the juice I'd been making was super low glycemic. The combination of just not enough calories for too many days in a row, combined with working out, made my blood sugar go too low.

So yesterday, I made absolutely sure to get 4 full quarts of juice in me, and not to wait more than 3 hours in between them. The difference was like night and day. Just in case, I got my blood pressure taken by the nurse. Completely unmedicated, my BP was 110/70, unheard of for a short woman who still weighs almost 300 lbs. I was so happy, and thrilled that I don't have to go back to the blood pressure medication I was taking prior to the juice feast. (I believe in taking meds if you need them; I just don't want to need them anymore!)

On the advice of my chiropractor (lol, hi Sheryl!) and the lovely Penni, and oh, pretty much all of you, I am going to add in some fruit juice. Yay! I am so excited! I don't want to add too much--but now I am really excited about which one to try! I have a lot of nectarines and some watermelon--doesn't that sound delicious?! I am still going to drink lots of green juice, but I don't want to have any more low blood sugars. That is a very yucky feeling that I don't want to duplicate!

Detox? Today I am itchy all over, mostly my torso. I haven't changed any products I use, laundry or personal, so I am thinking detox. It's annoying but I'm going to put some coconut oil on it and ignore it! My dry skin brushing feels great, though!

Emotional Detox? Penni's posts are really stirring the pot, bringing so much to the surface. I want to really spend some time on that, but I am running out of time today and think I will go there tomorrow.

It feels like I am always making juice! Remember the old Dunkin' Donuts commercial? "Time to make the donuts!" (time to make them and throw them away! dangerous at any speed, those!) Well it's time to make the juice!

Don't forget to vote: Say Yes To The Dress! Which one should Mallory choose? The Red One, The Print One, or the Little Black Dress?

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 20 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

What Day I'm On: 20 out of 40--halfway home!

I am love, love, loving the Penni's discussions right now around fortitude. If you read the comments in the Bravery post, you know how incredible it has been. Such bravery! Such amazing people hanging out on this website. And I realize, once again, how flippin' lucky I am! You never really know what people are going through in their lives. Juice feasting brings things up: good stuff, bad stuff, it just stirs the pot and brings it all to the surface. I will tell you though, after reading those posts, it will be really hard for me to have a "poor me" moment again. If you're blessed, and you know it, clap your hands! (clap! clap!)

How's It Going?
Team: Help me solve the mystery! Ok, yesterday was not so good. I felt spacey and weird. Maybe a little light-headed. It was not great timing because I was at work all day. Nora has daily doubles all this week (she is captain of the dance team at school) so I didn't wake her up to come work out with me. She has a tendency to over-train anyway, and dancing for 3 hrs a day for 2 wks solid is enough for anyone! Since yesterday was a cardio-only day for me, (I do weights on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) I decided I would just do it at work. I work across from a huge park and we also have an employee gym, so I was set.

I was walking outside, listening to my praise music, like I do, for about half an hour. Then it got too hot (over 90 and no breeze) so I went inside to the air-conditioned gym. I didn't have work out clothes on--I was wearing a dress and dress shoes, so I kicked off my shoes and walked on the treadmill barefoot. That was a mistake. After about 20 min, I could feel a lot of pain in my heel--I have had plantar facaiitis in the past and I knew exactly what it was. I finished working out, took a quick sponge bath (wash all the creases!) and went back to work. (Today, it is still sore so I am adding ginger to my juice.)

That's when the spacey thing happened. I drank lots of water, thinking I might have gotten dehydrated. That helped, but not much. I lay down in the break room at break. Again, it helped, but not enough. It was scary and I wonder what it was. Any experienced juice feasters ever have this? My juice always has celery in it because I know you need the natural sodium. I've only been drinking about 2.5 quarts of low-glycemic veggie juice. Could I not be getting enough calories?

My biggest suspicion, other than some detox going on, is my blood pressure is whack. I am off of all bp meds for well, 20 days now. I am going to go get that checked today at work. It felt like LOW blood pressure to me, though, not high. (High usually has no symptoms.) 'Tis curious!

Advice From Dave: Dave asked me what size I am wearing, and I told him, truthfully, I don't really know, because I am mostly wearing my old clothes. Like, my 113 lbs ago clothes. He laughed and said he did the same thing on the way down. He said often on a juice feast you take off weight so rapidly that it is best to wait until it's over to buy new clothes. He just pokes another hole in his belt and makes sure his pants don't fall down!

I have been slowly getting new things, at second hand shops, but I do need to stop wearing my old clothes. They swim on me, as you can imagine, and the neck holes always show my bra strap (classy!) and I because my belly doesn't tent them out as far, all my dresses are getting longer and longer till I look like I'm wearing a formal gown. lol

I am realizing that I have been holding onto them because of that fear that I spoke about yesterday, the one where all the weight returns and I have nothing to wear because I got rid of all the big clothes. This actually happened to me once before: In 1990, I took off 125 lbs (sheer will power, white-knuckling it the whole way because I hadn't learned to deal with my Brat or gotten right with God) and over time, I just lost momentum. I felt like I had been hanging off a cliff holding on by my fingertips and my hands just started to slip. I started binging again and the weight came back, and I had given all my bigger clothes away.

I am also wearing the big clothes, because I have not quite accepted that I am getting smaller. The first 50 lbs or so, I really didn't look any different. Even now, there's not a huge change visually--I am smaller all around, but in the same proportions. I only have TWO chins, now, though! lol My face looks a lot slimmer. :)

But the longer I do this, I realize, it is time to let those clothes bless someone else. I am not that girl any more. I can not see me living her life. I have changed in a fundamental way. I have changed my mind, and God has changed my heart. I can honestly say, I no longer want that food that was killing me. He has relieved me of that compulsion, because I asked Him to, believing He could, and He answered my prayer. I have to do my part, but I give Him all the glory.

So, no more hording big clothes, and for Pete's sake, no more wearing them! (I apologize for not showing you pictures of my dresses I am considering wearing to the International Day of Juice Feasting on Sept 12. My photographer, Nora, has been hanging with her girls (last hurrah before back to school for her senior year) and gotten home late and then yesterday, I was not up to playing fashion show. Probably tomorrow!) Love you guys! Smootches!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 19 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

I don't know what possessed me to write about my juice feast as my Facebook status. I guess I thought maybe I could spread the good word and make someone get intrigued. The response has mostly been positive, some of it funny. One guy that I've known since second grade but have not been close to asked, "do hops count?" as in beer. lol He always was hilarious! I've only gotten one, "oh that's dangerous" type of response, from someone I know only through my sister. The irony is, this lady chose to have a gastric bypass. I support anyone who decides to go that route, because I know it's tough, but oh my zebra, talk about dangerous. That is a life-threatening operation. This is a few weeks of highly nutritious veggie juice. Again, I'm kinda wishing I could take back that status...I'm not sure my wider circle is ready for a health-nut Mallory. They are used to fast-food train wreck Mallory. Another Facebook friend asked how I could possibly stay on just juice and I answered, "I can do all things through Christ." So bam! I'm coming out as not just a health nut but a Christian one to boot, lol. Also will be quite the surprise for people who grew up with me and only knew me in my er, "wild youth"! Now I'm laughing 'cuz the cat's out of the pajamas now!

I'm having a tough time getting in 4 quarts of juice a day. Sometimes I can only manage 2. The juice does not taste *as* bad to me, but let's just say, I'm not going to be serving cucumber/kale at my next party. I've definitely gotten used to it. I really like it best when it has a base of mostly tomatoes.

I am finally getting that surge of energy people talk about. Yesterday, I had a "power surge" on the treadmill. I walked faster than I ever have before, and felt great! I even questioned if the treadmill speed gauge was accurate, and changed to another one. But no, it was me! I was cruising right along, a good half a mile faster than normal, and feeling awesome, hardly even got winded.

I am still having an end-of-day crash, when I get super tired right around when it is time to come home, make the kids' dinner, get my chores done, etc. I tried drinking more juice at that time, and it helped somewhat. I'll try that again today.

What Day I'm On: 19 out of 40--almost half-way!

How It's Going: I've really got a lot of peace around it: This is what I am doing. It is not forever, and it is doing me a world of good. This is like crazy extreme self-care: I am spending money on me. I am spending time on me. Those are the single-mom's most precious commodities. I am treating myself with the loving kindness I would lavish on my precious child. That includes loving limits too.

Detox? Not really.

Emotional Detox:
Just feeling like I'm standing naked in the school yard because I am coming out to the world. It sounds funny, but I feel pretty vulnerable, even about the weight loss. Being huge, ironically, makes you kind of invisible. Any big change brings a lot of a attention. I'm embarrassed because I've taken off more than 100 lbs and I still have 150 to go. I don't mention the "150 more" part, but still, people look at me and do the math in their head and gasp. I don't mention the number of pounds off unless people press. I get the feeling people have no idea what people really weigh. I immediately apologize, "I've taken off over a hundred but I have a long, long way to go." Like, "don't worry! I know I'm still fat!" Honestly, how DID I ever let it get so bad? All I can say is that I left my Brat home alone, and she really trashed the place. I don't know if I can ever really trust myself not to go back there. It's a shadow that looms over me. Promise you won't let me?!

Advice From Penni:
I've not talked with Dave (I've called and texted but I believe he's either on the road or crazy busy with the event he's coordinating.) No worries--I know he's got my back. He says I don't need as much hand-holding as most people. Little does he know, I've got all of you to hold my hand! So I am going to point out one of the best pieces of advice I ever got from Penni: If you look for explanations for why your life is screwed up, you will find them. You may determine it's because of your child hood, because of abuse issues, because you have a compulsive nature, it's a disease, you have health issues, yadda yadda yadda. These may all be legit, but they have one thing in common: knowing WHY will never serve you if you let it be an excuse not to change. We all have baggage. We all have a burden we carry and a history. Use that energy to get OUT of the hole, not to figure out HOW you got there. You got there, because at some point, you gave YOURSELF permission to be there. Revoke that permission! Get the best you back in charge. As long as you love your pain more than you love yourself, you cannot grow, and it can't get better.

(ok, Penni put this much nicer and more positive, but honestly, I needed a swift kick to the rear at the time, and this is what I got out of her eloquent advice!)

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 18 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

Wow. All I can say is that I will always cherish the responses from yesterday's post. I receive it all with gratitude, and I love you guys.
What Day I'm On: 18 out of 40, 45% of the way

How's It Going? Great, and not so. The great part is all the support. I also feel like I have the time management part down, and the actual juicing and supplementing is going great. Thanks to Annette, I'm adding in Zeolites, which are like a micro-porous sieve, filtering out toxic heavy metals in your body. I unfortunately have some silver fillings, so I know there is mercury and other heavy metals in me, and a detoxifying fast (or juice feast) is a great time to get them out.

The only part that's hard, is that the food cravings have come back, in a big way! I think it has to do with my sense of smell, which has suddenly come back after being pretty bad for a long time. I am glad I have it back; I look like a loon, going around and smelling every flower and even opening up my cinnamon and spice jars and sniffing away. But the truth is, a lot of things smell bad in life! lol I never noticed before but boy, howdy, I do now. One thing that does not smell bad to me, at all, though, is FOOD. Food that other people are eating. I never want to eat unless I smell it. Then it slowly tortures me, lol. Unfortunately, I work directly upstairs from the cafeteria in a medical facility, with an open-plan big atrium in the clinic so all the good cooking smells waft up to me as I work!

Don't worry! There is no way I am going to quit now or even cheat! When I smell it, I just try to enjoy the aroma (no harm in that) and tell myself, "That is not for me. I am content with my juice." It just means that my willpower is getting an extra heavy duty workout. I am going to have such big muscles to flex in that regard when this is over! For the girl who had 0% ability to resist temptation before, you can see what a huge miracle is being done in me!

Detox? Nope.

Emotional Detox: Not detox, but really feeling all the love and support and kindness in a profound way. It is kinda sorta incredibly beautiful. I am so glad to be having this experience, even if I walk around with a curious combination of tears in my eyes and a huge silly grin on my face.

Emotional De-Cluttering: This week, I released 3 more pounds (running total of 113 lbs if you are keeping track) and my first thought was, "But I'm not eating anything! It should have been more!" Ok, let's look at that. True, I am not eating, but of course, I am getting 1500 calories of juice or so a day, so I am hardly starving. Also, it is the first week of being on my cycle when I can ever remember having a release instead of adding to my total! I used to have a 10 lb JUMP in my weight every cycle, which was one of the reasons I used to not weigh myself. It would go, just as fast, the next week, but in my cranky hormonal state it would seem terribly tragic and unjust, lol.

But why I put this under emotional detox is because of that limiting thought: I should be releasing weight QUICKLY. There is a quota I need to make each week, or something. What I SHOULD be doing is feeding my body the right things (right now that means veggie juice) and giving it loving movement (I did a ton last week.) And then, (listen closely, self!) how my body takes care of itself is up to the wisdom of my body! It may be ready to release some more weight, and it may choose to heal me some other way. As long as I am doing the right things, I don't need to worry about it. I actually don't need to worry about anything! Good lesson for me to remember.

Physical De-cluttering: The house looks a little better following the great purge. I've got the de-clutter bug and I want more! I am going to try to keep the momentum up during the week if I can.

Advice From Dave: Haven't talked to him in a few days. He is getting so busy with organizing the International Day of Juice Feasting. You're going, aren't you?! You can go in spirit, by streaming it, if you can't make it to Seattle. Tomorrow I'm going to model some outfits for you guys and you tell me which one to wear to the event!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 17 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

Today is Sunday, and this post is dedicated to GRATITUDE. Since I have started this journey of getting healthy, and especially since starting my juice feast, I have been the recipient of outrageous kindness and acts of generosity which have left me with such feelings of gratitude, I don't have the words to adequately express them. That is saying a lot for the girl who never lacks for something to say! I am still working on the rare art of knowing when to shut up! lol

But honestly, I cannot help but believe I am on a divinely appointed path, when every step of the way, I am loved, supported, and lifted up. It started when I joined RFR and I got plugged into all the amazing resources in the Rooms. I wanted support to be a Christian vegan; I found it in the Media Room and in the Chapel. I wanted to know more about my curing my health conditions; I found it in the Wellness Center. I needed recipes to support my journey: there was the Kitchen and the Culinary Center. I needed to stay accountable: I immediately locked myself in the Vault and got real with my weight. Every day, Penni's message seemed to be something I really needed to hear. Susan's inspiring blogs left me scribbling down notes in my notebooks, and going around saying, "Yes!" at random times.

Most of all, the love and support I have gotten through blogging and reading others' blogs has been tremendous. Never underestimate what your taking the time to comment really means to someone. For me, it has lifted me up and made me say, "Yes, I can do this. I WILL do this. And actually, I AM DOING THIS." It even gave me the courage to do a crazy thing like decide to live on veggie juice for almost 6 weeks!

This is the hardest part to talk about, but I gotta do it. When I took time off to take care of Joe after his surgery, I was out of paid ill-time at work. I had known his surgery was coming, and horded all my ill and vacation time, but then, I got terribly sick myself in January and had emergency abdominal surgery in February and used it all up. I had no idea how we were going to get through a month with no pay coming in; I only knew that Joe needed the surgery and we had already been on the waiting list for 8 months and I couldn't change the date. I saved as much as I could from February to June, and I am proud to say, we made it through ok. But things are still really tight; I knew that I wasn't going to be able to spend money except food and rent and what my kids needed. I thought I would have to go without the Vault. But then Darlene Knight created her scholarship, and I got to be in the Vault after all! (Thank you, thank you, thank you, Darlene!) You guys, the Vault has been incredible this time; Penni's materials were so helpful and the recipes so good. The conversations and support in the Vault just exploded this time--there has been so much participation and actively helping one another and accountability. There have even been prizes, really nice ones, which has just been the icing on the cake. I would have missed out on all that without Darlene. Bless you and your huge heart Darlene!

Later on I heard Penni talk about juicing and checked it out, and I thought, oh that sounds HARD but interesting. Hmm. Then I met Dave the Raw Food Truck Driver and he inspired me so much (I dare you to talk to that man and not get inspired) and he said, "Hey, I still have some more weight to lose, let's go on a juice feast together!" So before I knew it, I had agreed to go on a juice feast without knowing really what that meant. I needed info fast: then Penni decided to release her book, Real Juice Daily. It was so inspiring and so full of great info and recipes. I was psyched!

Then I came back to reality: this juice feasting is expensive! Can I really afford to spend all of this on just ME? I am a single mom; I have responsibilities. I have fabulous teens who do great things, great things that cost mucho dinero. Plus, my juicer I had seemed to barely be getting any juice out of stuff. My kale would come out looking almost like it went in--I used the so called "pulp" to make kale chips for the kids!

Like an answer to unspoken prayer, someone I only know from Raw Food Rehab got me a NEW JUICER. Like, a nice one! A great one that I love and adore, and one that you know, GETS JUICE OUT OF THINGS! I was floored! I mean, who does such a nice thing for someone they've never met in real life? Who has a heart like that? I won't say, because the person asked me not to. But know that I still get tears in my eyes and a giant face-cracking grin when I make my juice. I know that juicer puts LOVE in my juice, because of the loving energy that came from that incredible person when they did that for me. I hope that person receives a thousand percent return in blessings. I love them and I will never forget them.

Then Annette told me she can get me my veggies at wholesale, and suddenly, I can not only afford my veggies, I realize I am going to save money in the long run after I am off the juice feast! Not to mention that Annette is an incredible lady who has been raw over 10 yrs and has done crazy cool things like climbing giant mountains and doing races from Portland to the Coast. Not only that but she doesn't even live in Portland--she drives more than an hour each way to get the veggies and make sure I get mine. I have offered to come to her, but she always says, no, it's no trouble.

Just yesterday--it happened again. Someone, I don't even know who, this time, donated some money for me for my juice feast! Not only did it come when I really need it--back to school time is here with all the huge costs of having active kids in high school: activity fees, senior pictures, college entrance exam fees, school clothes, school supplies, yearbook, dance team, etc, etc until you can actually hear the wallet screaming. But now, I've got a little bit of money to get what I need and not worry--which is such a huge relief. But even more than that--I have been so inspired again, and walking on a cloud of pure appreciation so complete I feel it at a cellular level. "Some one cares about me that much!" I marvel. "I've gotta see this through. So much love coming my way!" It just blows me away.

So, this post is just going to be thank you.

-Thank you, Penni, for having RFR, for your encouragement, and for being the amazing, inspiring woman that you are.
-Thank you, Susan, for your inspiring posts, and for all the copious amounts of information you add to this website that has made it such a huge boon to my health
-Thank you, anonymous friend, for the wonderful juicer, I love it, and I love you. I think about you every day, and I bless you and remember you in every prayer.
-Thank you, Dave, (though you'll probably never see this, lol) for being my mentor and coach and inspiration. You know how much I love you, and I've got your back, always!
-Thank you, Darlene, for letting me be in the Vault. I want you to know what it has meant to me, what a wonderful lady you are, and also that I think of you and try harder. I really do! I want to make you proud for what you did for me!
-Thank you, Annette, for giving me so much support along with the kale and cucumbers, and most of all for being my friend, and being in this juicy boat with me. We will do it my friend! You rawk hard!
-Thank you, other anonymous friend, for the money, and even more than that, for thinking of me, and helping me, and for your loving spirit. I am so grateful!
-Finally, thank you to you, if you've ever left me a comment, or written me a note, or said a prayer for me or for Joe. Thank you so so much. You inspire me, you feed me on your loving energy, and I feel a thousand hands, supporting me and lifting me up. I love you all!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Juice Life--Day 16 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

What Day I'm On: 16 out of 40 (40% of the way)

How's It Going: Yesterday was much better. The migraine faded to a dull ache that came and went throughout the day, and that made it so much more tolerable. I got in a good workout at the gym. Throughout my juice feast, I've chosen to keep working out with my usual workout: I hit the gym about 5:30 a.m. every day and walk on the treadmill for 40 minutes (there's that 40 again!) and then lift weights for another 20 minutes, 3 times per week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I've noticed a definite serge in energy for working out doing my juice feast. In addition, I walk on my lunch hour every day, not at "work out speed" but slower and more contemplative; a walking meditation and prayer time. I listen to Christian music on my iphone and watch the squirrels and the birds play in the park across from my job. Even though it is not for the purpose of exercising, I think the more movement I can get in, the better for me, and the more calories I'll burn, too. We humans were designed to move it, move it. Walking is one of the very best things you can do. It doesn't need any fancy equipment, you can do it any where and any time, and it's free. It's easy on your joints, great for your circulation (get that blood and lymph moving!) and at least for me, there is a clarity of mind and spirit that I get while I am walking that is unparalleled by anything else I do.

How awesome is it that my 17 yr old daughter, who loves nothing in the world as much as a good sleep-in, has gotten up with me at 5 a.m. this whole summer to work out with me? I know there were times when I would have just as soon rolled over and gone back to sleep, but I got up and did it because otherwise I would hear about it from Nora! She is a great kid. This is her senior year and I am just enjoying the heck out of her, and my son Joe. They have really grown into neat people; ones I would be friends with, even if they weren't my kids. I'm feeling really blessed and grateful today.

What I'm Drinking: The word of the day is tomatoes! I got the attack of the killer (but in a good way) tomatoes yesterday! The crew at Limbo saved me bags and bags of them for my juice feast! Since I go in there almost every day, they know me, if not by name, but as that crazy raw vegan who buys up all their dollar bags. I haven't told them I am on a juice feast--I wonder if they think I am eating all of this? lol Anyway, there will be red, juicy goodness today! Oh yes! (Of course I will add celery and greens, lots and lots of greens, gotta have the greens!) Kale and romaine and spinach on tap today. I am looking forward to this one!

Detox: Nothing to write home about.

Emotional Detox: Feeling good today, and felt pretty durn good all yesterday. Life is sweet!

Emotional De-cluttering: Here's another scary trip into the deep recesses of Mallory's psyche to uncover and release her limit beliefs. (Don't be afraid--I'll hold your hand!) Today's limiting belief is around being a "fat slob." I have been overweight all my life, and I have heard that phrase over and over again, not directed at me (except maybe in elementary school when kids basically tortured me about my weight.) That phrase resonates with me, down in my soul, in the dank, smelly recesses where fear and loathing hang out. And it is time to clean house! The thing is, while I crave order, I do tend to be a messy person. On top of that, I am a busy person, so often when I have an abundance of good intention, I don't have an abundance of time, and the execution suffers. There was a time, not that long ago, when I was so depressed about my weight, I let everything slide: my house, my person hygiene (not horrible but I wasn't great about making sure that I was looking my best.) I let my hair go too long between cuts, I wore clothes that had stains on them or small holes sometimes. I never even bothered with make-up; to me it would be like lipstick on a pig. (Ouch! More harsh limiting beliefs!)

During my juice feast, I've been putting a lot of emphasis on choosing things I like to wear and that I look good in. (Sometimes hard to find since my closet is full of clothes that are way too big for me now. Time to bless someone else!) I get a shower after the gym, every day, and take time to brush and floss. I put coconut oil on after my shower to be nice to my skin and be dewy soft. I'm going to get a haircut and get my eyebrows done--something that makes me feel great. Although I can't believe I pay good money for a nice Vietnamese lady to lovingly rip my eyebrow hairs out by the root! lol

I also have hoarding tendencies--which I fight hard, and have made great strides in my life, the FlyLady really helped there--but behind them is that other limiting belief, "I will need it and I won't have it." This is the ultimate poverty thinking, and in a way, it is a slap in the face to God, who has provided so well for me every moment of my life.

But my bedroom is cluttered up right now with big cardboard boxes. Why? Ironically, so I can fill them with stuff to give to charity! But they are messy and in my way right now. Procrastination is a bad thing.

So this morning is going to be dedicated to order and self-care. I am going to fill the boxes and get them out of there.

The fat slob will please exit the building, and oh yeah, my life. 'K thnkx bai!

Physical De-Cluttering: This week's plan: too big "good" work clothes go to the resale shop; the rest go to charity, along with all the stuff I was saving for a garage sale that probably isn't going to happen. I hate having garage sales anyway! They are such a pain. I would rather bless the Salvation Army! A few things will get listed on ebay.

Advice From Dave: The International Day of Juice Feasting is coming up, and all of y'all need to be there! If you can't be in Seattle, you can stream it live on your computer on September 12, from noon to 4pm PST. Just look at the line-up: Dave The Raw Food Trucker, Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes-Monarch, Elaina Love, and even some of your friends from RFR, like me and Annette and Thubten will be there. Maybe, just maybe, there will be another surprise guest or two that will definitely make you squeal. I put all the details on the events section, so check it out. It's going to be great!

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 15 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

I want to try to answer questions along the way, so if you have them, shoot them my way. I am by no means an expert, but I love doing the research and sharing it.

There was a question about MSM. Here are some highlights I found on the net:

MSM is biological sulfur, which may...

Remove inflammation; permit muscles and joints to heal more rapidly
Increase energy, alertness, mental calmness, and ability to concentrate
Reduce muscle cramps and spasms
Plays a role in collagen synthesis: skin becomes softer, more resilient, hair and nails grow faster and stronger (the beauty mineral)

Help to normalize stomach function
Help relieve heartburn and GERD
Help relieve allergies to foods and pollens

Help create an internal environment unfriendly to many types of parasites
Helps with diabetic neuropathy of the extremities and gastrointestinal tract
Speed wound healing, reduces scar tissue
Stimulate immune function

Next to oxygen, water, and salt, MSM is the fourth most needed
element in human and animal nutrition. Sulfur is involved in nearly
every metabolic process in the body, and is essential in the
regeneration and nourishment of healthy cells.

Penni said that all the MSM on her juice feast made her nails go from peeling and thin to strong as the other kind of nails. To absorb the MSM optimally, it is best to take it with a citrus juice. That is why everyone seems to take it with lemon water or citrus punch (a mix of orange, grapefruit, and lemon or lime juice.)

What Day I'm On: 15 out of 40 (37% of the way)

How's It Going? Yesterday was tough. I had a migraine all day, and I chose not to take any drugs. I should tell you, I used to have a virtual pharmacy in my bathroom. I did not believe in suffering. I had an over-the-counter remedy for any condition you can name. As I have been getting more healthy, I have stopped all the OTC's, and been able to get off of my prescription drugs too. The only thing I was still taking, prior to the juice feast, was one blood pressure med which had a side effect of stopping my migraines. I had cut it down to a half-dose, but I was still taking it. (I monitor my blood pressure VERY regularly! Please do NOT go off your BP meds without your health practitioner's approval! I got approval from mine!) I also took a lot of ibuprofen, because being this heavy causes enormous amounts of pain in your body: sore feet, back aches, knee pain, etc. I had really cut back on the ibuprofen, but not cut it out until the juice feast.

So here came my monthly cycle, and like it has since I was 12, a migraine came with it. I thought I was "over" them because the blood pressure medication was preventing them. Now, I was hoping that my substantial weight release (110 lbs or more) had balanced my hormones enough that I might not get one. I have to say, it was not as severe as I have had in the past.

Anyway, I am proud of myself for not giving in and taking pain medication. I am really trying to do a full detox, and to make drugs a part of my past. I still have some remnants of the headache today, but not as bad. I am going to the gym so maybe I will sit in the hot tub and see if that helps.

What I'm Drinking: I tried adding some jalapeno to my juice because Penni talks about a Pico De Gallo juice in Real Juice Daily that sounded really good. Plus, I am getting in a rut with my kale, romaine, cucumber, tomato, and red bell pepper. I decided I do not love jalapeno! But it did taste like salsa, which was bomb. I am going to try half as much today. I am a wimp when it comes to hot! lol

Detox: Migraine, probably due to hormones rather than detox, but who's to say there isn't some detox going on?

Emotional Detox: Feeling kinda down, again, I blame Aunt Flo, my least favorite relative

Advice from Dave:

The extremely awesome Momdebbie commented yesterday with some great advice from her talk with Dave, and I wanted to make sure no one missed it because I know I don't always read all the comments on other people's posts. A huge shout out to Momdebbie for being on day 6 of her own juice feast! She is building her discipline muscles and curing her diabetes and I could not be more proud of her!! This is what she wrote:

1. Never - EVER be without your juice! Dave said this is especially imperative to those like he and I who have had diabetic issues or other health concerns. He prepares 3 gallons of juice at a time to take with
him on the road and drinks a gallon per day. He also takes juicers on
the road with him along with a super long extension cord so he is ready
to juice whenever and wherever he is. Again, he can't stress this
enough. Keep your juice next to you in the car, on your desk at work, in
the fridge, next to your computer while surfing the web or enjoying our
own Raw Food Rehab. Wherever you are -- your juice is there too!

2. Don't ever feel badly or like you have failed if you have to end your juice feast earlier than you had planned. Listen to YOUR body. Dave
said that because he had been overeating the SAD diet for soooo long and
to the point of weighing 430 pounds and had never eaten organically -
he suffered through some major detox when he went on his first juice
feasts. He had to slow things down a bit and would intersperse his
feasts with phase 1 of Gabriel Cousen's plan as outlined in "There is a
Cure for Diabetes". He may had to slow things down at first but as most
of you know, Dave went on to be a champion of and for juice feasting and
lost over 200 now pounds in the process!

Oh and Dave wants to give a huge shout out and send his love to Penni and RFR! He is really jazzed to hear about how many of us are juice
feasting now and even more thrilled to hear about how we are supporting
one another! Penni, Dave says it's time to come to Gods' country and pay
him a visit!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 14 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

How Far Along I Am: Day 14 out of 40, 35% of the way

How's It Going? I felt really, really tired yesterday. Driving to my mom's after work to do her wound care, I almost felt like I should pull over and nap. Last night, I didn't sleep too well so I don't feel too much better this morning. I'm not sure what this is all about, and whether it is related to my juice feast or not. Hmm....any of you experienced juice feasters ever have this happen?

What I'm Drinking: I'm kind of in a rut: romaine, kale, cucumber, tomato, sweet red bell pepper. Lemon water and MSM upon rising. Things taste a little better to me, so I must be getting used to it,

Detox? I'll just say, I still don't need any enema! Keeping close to restrooms is a good thing. :)

Emotional Detox? Nope. Just cranky from being tired.

Emotional De-Cluttering: I am saying these affirmations: I love and approve of myself. I deserve love. What I seek is seeking me. There IS someone out there for me, and when the time is right, I will meet him!

In the mean time, I will keep working on myself, so that when I do meet him, I will be the kind of girl he can fall in love with. :) Penni gives me hope. She ended up with a great guy. :)

Physical De-Cluttering: I need to get back to this. I've not been great about it, for the same old reason, time. If I even get rid of one thing a day, I will be making progress, right? Annette came over yesterday to bring me veggies and the kids had camped out in the living room the night before, just for fun, and they had the house a wreck. Sorry about that, Annette! We do not generally live like a pack of wolverines! Plus I had boxes all over full of things that I am giving away but have not taken to Salvation Army yet. Sometimes, when you're decluttering, your house looks worse at first. Looks like that's today's mission.

Advice From Dave: Missed my call with Dave yesterday; I have a feeling he's super busy organizing the International Day of Juice Feasting with Matt and Angela and all the other speakers. So I'll share some stuff I've researched elsewhere. Dry skin brushing is a technique that you can do all the time, not just during a juice feast, to get your lymphatic system moving and circulating, and to assist detox. The lymphatic system is a series of glands located around your body, and a super high way that is like a river running all through out your body. The lymph's job is to get rid of toxins, transport fatty acids, and move immune cells from your bones all through out your body where they are needed. It is a one-way high way going toward the heart. Lymph can get congested under our skin, and then it doesn't circulate properly, we can swell up and get edema, like what happens when your feet swell in the heat. If your lymph is congested, your immune system is compromised, and you can't metabolize stored fat properly. Dry skin brushing really helps move lymph! All you do is get a dry, natural bristle body brush, and brush in little circles all over your whole body, starting at your feet and and hands and going in toward your heart. Obviously, you don't brush your face! But you can do a gentle facial massage, circling downward, always toward your heart. The brush can feel a little scratchy and leave you a little pink, but to me it has started to feel really good. It is supposed to be really good for your skin, too, and some people report that it helps you to not have saggy extra skin after taking off a large amount of weight. You know it's part of my plan! lol

Brush away your health concerns!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 13 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

What Day I'm On: 13 out of 40, about 32% of the way

How's It Going? It's going pretty well, over all, I have to say. I did find it encouraging that I am about 1/3 of the way there. There are two main challenges to juice feasting for me:

1. Time- I don't always get all my juice made before I end up having to go to work. As long as I have two quarts, I know I'll be ok. Juicing is not difficult, at all, but it is time consuming. You're washing and chopping and juicing, and then cleaning up and packing the juice into jars, and reassembling the juicer. I tend to underestimate how long all of that takes. I also have way more to say in my posts than I ever get in, but I run out of time.

2. Cost- Juicing is not cheap. Of course you want organic veggies--why in the world would you add toxins back in while you are working so hard to get them OUT? And you need a LOT of veggies. To get my 4 quarts of juice I use: 1 head of romaine, 1 head of kale, 6-8 cucumbers, 1 head of celery, 10-12 roma tomatoes, 1-2 sweet red bell peppers, and a couple of lemons. That's a PER DAY amount. I didn't know it would be so much produce before starting my juice feast, and if I had, I might not have done it.

I have to say, it is so worth it so far for the benefits I'm getting: 18 lbs of weight release, my skin is softer than it's ever been, I have a lot of energy, my belly is getting much flatter, not only from the weight release but also because the candida are dying off and not making me all bloaty looking "9 months along."

I also find it so incredible how I keep getting "lucky" on this challenge, like meeting Dave to encourage me, Penni writing her great book Real Juice Daily to inspire me, an incredible friend buying me a new juicer, and meeting Annette who was willing to go the distance with me and has just become an incredible friend. Then she tells me she can get me my organic veggies for wholesale cost, and I almost cried for gratitude. I am making so many friends along the way, and so many people have said I was able to inspire them, I feel a huge tidal wave of love and support just washing over me!

I believe that God is blessing my challenge and is clearing my path before me, taking obstacles away. He always wants my highest good. Because the main focus of my challenge is to build a closer relationship with Him, He is smiling down on me and making it easier. I am so incredibly grateful! Thank you, God!

Detox? "When you're sliding into first, and you feel a soggy burst, diarrhea!" Not too bad, lol. To be honest, I hate enemas, so if I'm going on my own, woo-hoo! Just as long as I make it to the bathroom in time!

Emotional Detox? Getting better. I still have the "poor me's" sometimes. I am also having a visit from Aunt Flo, so who can say what is detox and what is my normal hormone fluctuation roller coaster ride?

Emotional Decluttering: Wow, I am making some break-throughs around recognizing my limiting beliefs. This stuff is deep down personal, but I will still share it in the hope that it can help someone else. I have been "unlucky" in love all my life. I had only 2 relationships before I met my ex-husband, when I was only 17. He is a great guy, but he developed a mental illness in his 20s (when it often hits) and his behavior at that time became abusive and I had to leave for the children, and for me. I have stuck by him and supported him all these years, however, and now he takes medication that helps him have a mostly normal life, and he is a good dad. He still has challenges, like anyone. When I made my vows, in sickness and in health, I meant them, and I was prepared to stick by him (but not live physically with him). He ended up asking for the divorce about 8 yrs into our marriage; he fell in love with someone else. I was pretty relieved because adultery is the only out the Bible gives you for divorce. Even before I met him, I had this limiting belief, "There is someone for everyone and nobody for me." I felt so unlovable, due to my weight, that I thought no one would ever truly love me. Then I found men who incapable, because of their own problems, to really be able to love me and be a full partner in the relationship. Later, after my ex, I met a guy online and we fell in love, but he promptly moved to California, and even though we tried to make it work, it didn't. So it kept reinforcing my limiting belief. Now, I am seeing that I must really, truly, honest to Bob love myself before I will ever be able to draw to me someone who can be a life partner. You need to BE who/what you want to attract. Want a fit, healthy, successful partner? Be fit, healthy, and successful. Want someone who's positive and emotionally stable? Get positive and emotionally stable yourself. Like attracts like.

I am willing to open up to the possibility that there is love out there for me. I'll be honest, I don't believe it yet, but I am working to detox that limiting belief.

Advice From Dave: We didn't talk last night, so I will give advice I got from another health practitioner, who is a friend: CHEWING. The not chewing while juice feasting is a problem. The act of chewing actually helps you produce serotonin, the mood elevator. Chewing also helps you get saliva going in your mouth to help you digest your food. You should always "chew" your juice, to get the full benefit from it. I find I need supplemental chewing while doing my juice feast. I will chew on a piece of celery and spit out the pulp. This is kind of gross, so when I get the chance, I chew on my jawcerciser, something Victoria Boutenko invented to do jaw exercises as a substitute for gum, which is full of chemicals. Of course, the jawcerciser looks really weird, so I can only do it in private. It is really satisfying while I am juice feasting and really seems to elevate my mood. Try chewing if you are feeling down.

Have a juicy day!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 12 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

What I'm Excited About: I "came out" to my family over the weekend about my juice feasting. My ex-Mother-in-law has us over for dinner once a week, and God bless her, she tries. She can barely manage to cook vegetarian, and doesn't fully understand the whole vegan thing at all, so we get some interesting meals that make me smile. On 4th of July we had "hot dogs" that were Morning Star soy breakfast sausage links in white bread buns. lol Needless to say, I stuck with the fruit salad and corn on the cob. But she had already told me she thinks the raw food diet is "dangerous" and she "had a tennant who got very sick on it." I could have told her all the amazing stories of people I know who have gotten very well on it, like oh, you know, ME, but I know I would be talking to a very well-meaning brick wall. So I mostly just hush my mouth and do what I need to do. So I was worried that she would flip out about the juice feast. And yet, I had to tell her, because she would wonder why I wasn't eating her food. So I presented it to her this way, "I am on a spiritual fast. I appreciate all you do for us so much, I just wanted you to know so that you would not think I don't enjoy your food, because I really do. I will enjoy just having your company and your love." Luckily, she is a very religious woman, and she approved of it completely! She especially liked that I am doing it for 40 days. "That's doing it just right, like Moses and Noah and Jesus." I was all, "I know, right?!" People can really surprise you.

Contrast that with me telling my own mom and her reaction: "Oh I figured you were doing something weird. You always are. You know I love you. You look great, you tell me you feel great, just do what you need to do." Good old Mom!

What Day I'm On: 12 out of 40

How's It Going: It's going good again. I am getting used to the strong-tasting juice. I am also adding more flavoring like basil and ginger (not together!) and carrot juice, just a little, for sweetening. This has helped the flavor a lot.

I'm not getting hungry any more, which makes things much easier. (haha as I wrote that, my tummy growled. Ok, I am not getting SUPER hungry any more, which helps.)

One huge side benefit: All this low glycemic juice seems to really be starving my candida overgrowth. I have struggled with candida for a long time, easily getting painful, stinky skin outbreaks (sexy!) For years and years I would just manage, taking probiotics, keeping the areas really clean and dry, using zinc cream, etc. Now, I can tell it is just going away, period. My skin has never felt softer or looked better.

What I'm Drinking: Lemon water and MSM upon rising. 4 quarts green veggie juice: romaine/cucumber/celery, kale/cucumber/lemon, tomato/red bell pepper/basil.

Detox? Not so's you'd notice.

Emotional Detox? Better today. Dave had some good perspective on this.

Emotional De-cluttering? Talking to Dave and just processing all these feelings.

Advice From Dave: Dave and I talked about emotional detox. He said that he thinks that it is worse, the heavier you are. This can be for several reasons. For one thing, if you are really, very heavy, as Dave and I were, you are most likely a compulsive eater. So you may have been stuffing emotions with food. Having no food to stuff means you are just having to deal with the emotions with no numbing compounds to soften them. This can make it feel very strange and more intense. Try to just roll with it, don't get rocked by every wind.

Another theory that he and I share is a little more "woo-woo" but I will present it here for your consideration. When we ate the food to stuff down the emotions, the emotional energy got stored in the fat cells, along with toxins and everything else. When we are releasing the fat and the toxins through juice feasting, the emotional energy is released also. This can be really helpful to understand, especially when the emotions you're having now don't seem to have anything to do with what is happening now. I had a couple of days where I was mad as a wet cat, for no reason at all. This could explain it.

The last theory, which I think has a lot of merit, is that toxins stored in fat cells are very psycho-active. They mess with your brain, in other words, including your emotions. While it's better to have that stuff out of you for sure, while you're processing the junk out of your system you can suffer the ill effects again.

Dave said that especially men are sensitive to the emotional detox symptoms, and get more freaked out by them in his experience. Women, because our hormones mess with us on a regular basis, seem to do better with it. Dave says remember it is nothing to be ashamed of or worried about, and most important, the cleaner you get, the more it will GO AWAY. Amen to that!

Make it a juicy day!

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 11 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

What I'm Excited About: I weighed in over the weekend, and I have to say, juice feasting is really good for helping you release weight. I released another 8 lbs last week, for a total of 18 since juice feasting. Overall, I have released 110 lbs from my highest weight of 402 lbs.

I am really starting to see the change in my body, too. When you are really, really large, it takes a while and a lot of pounds to make a substantial difference in how you look. Now, I don't look 9 months pregnant! This is a great thing. I only have two chins now, too! lol

"Ever forward, if slowly."--Longfellow

What's more remarkable, is that I have taken off 90 of the 110 lbs this year. As in, the year I really committed to raw food. I know that every body is different, but mine obviously says, "Give it to me raw!"

I'm giving it to it raw and juicy for 29 more days!

What Day I'm On: 11 out of 40

How's It Going: It's going ok. I got a new juicer that does a much better job, especially of juicing greens. That's excellent, and just want I wanted, but now my juices taste and look like bile. lol

I know I will get used to the taste. And I am focusing on how great all those mega nutrients are for my body and all that I am getting out of it.

What I'm Drinking: Lemon water and MSM upon rising. 4 quarts green veggie juice: romaine/cucumber/celery, kale/cucumber/lemon, tomato/red bell pepper/basil. One mistake: I juiced purple cabbage, and it was so pretty! But the taste literally made me gag. I like cabbage, and I know it is a potent cancer fighter, but there will be no more purple cabbage juice Chez Mal!

Detox? Nothing much to report here.

Emotional Detox? Yep. I am cycling between angry, sad, just fine, resentful, happy, and tired. How do I exit this ride?! I would really like to be able to say, "We now return you to your happy, positive Mallory, already in progress!"

Emotional De-cluttering? I think I am too much in the eye of the hurricane to be able to decipher what it means too much. I am just going to ride it out, and observe what feelings are coming up so I can work through them.

Advice From Dave: Dave says that when you have a craving, really try to identify where in your physical body that craving is emanating. You may be surprised that it is not in your belly! It also may move around. By taking an analytical approach to your cravings, you may be able to defuse their power over you. It may also help you identify what you're really craving. Craving sweets? Do you need more sweetness in your life? Craving spicy hot food: do you need some more excitement? Creamy things=comfort. You may really want a hug. Learning to truly meet our own needs is one of the gifts of juice feasting.

Make it a juicy day!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 10 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

Today I am one quarter of the way through my juice feast. I am super excited because my friend in real life, Thubten (pronounced Tube-Ten) has joined Raw Food Rehab! Thubten has been doing this with me, Annette, and Dave The Raw Food Truck Driver, ever since we had dinner with Dave and met him. Thubten is a social media expert and a really fun guy. I really admire that he lives without a car on purpose, for the environment, and his blog is really fun because he makes great recipes. Like me, he has already released a lot of weight, but he still has a long way to go. We are not "befores" or "afters" we are "durings." lol I know he's going to love it here.

Annette is busy training for a 127 mile relay race, the Hood to Coast. She is totally amazing to me. She has climbed to the top of Mt. Hood and is planning to climb Mt. Kilamanjaro next October. She is a raw food caterer, and just fully amazing. I am so happy she has been doing this with me!

What Day I'm On: 10 out of 40, exactly 25% of the way

How's It Going? I don't know if I've just got some lousy produce (I doubt it) but every juice is tasting very bleck to me, except the tomato/sweet pepper/basil. All the really green ones (and yes, they are so green they are like neon teal in color) taste awful and I have just been choking them down. My house stinks like cucumbers too. I always though cucumber was a nice smell. Now it is kind of obnoxious. I think this is just the normal "been doing it a while" fatigue. Not fun though.

What I'm Excited About: My friends on this journey with me. I continue to love your comments and feedback and I'm so excited by all the other people doing this too. We are doing it!

I'm also still really enjoying Real Juice Daily. I definitely recommend it to anyone trying a juice feast, or who just wants a really good read!

Also, I used my pretty new juicer to make all my juice yesterday and it works great! I am getting so much drier pulp than I did with Jack, and so much more juice out of my produce. I think this accounts for the taste change in my juice: I am actually getting a lot more out of the greens and so it changes the taste. I feel so lucky and grateful to have a great juicer!

What I'm Drinking: Tried switching it up: I had one romaine/celery/cucumber, one kale/cucumber/lemon, one tomato/celery/red bell pepper/basil, and one Heinz 57 with all my odds and ends: beet greens, rainbow chard, celery, cucumber, kale, romaine, and red bell pepper.

Still holding my nose and thinking of England.

Detox? Still sneezing, running nose. Nothing much else to report

Emotional Detox? I'm feeling a little angry for no reason at times. Trying not to let it affect the ones I love. This could just be hormones, as I definitely have experienced PMS in the past (hoping not to in the future!)

This was a really busy Sunday so I'm cutting this one short. Everyone have a great week and stay juicy!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Juicy Life--Day 9 of My 40 Day Juice Feast

What Day I'm On: 9 out of 40 (approx 22% of the way)

I know a lot of folks, as well as Penni, are starting their juicy lives today. I just want to let you know that I am cheering you on. You can do it! The rewards are huge if you do. Don't be afraid, be bold and dare to just try.

You might ask yourself, as I did, when I started my adventure, what else you want to get out of this time. You are going to be detoxing your body; is there any other part of your life you need to detox? For instance, I am abstaining from watching the news. I am trying to abstain from negativity. Do you need to avoid negative people? Do you need to detox your house and get rid of those harmful chemicals once and for all? Do you need to detox your bedroom, and clean it and make it welcoming so you can actually get some rest in there? Do you have items that no longer serve you that you want to release to bless someone else? Even deeper, do you have patterns in your life that no longer work for you that you are willing to examine and let go? I know I do.

Reading over yesterday's post, I think I was quite the little martyr, there. Sometimes, I admit there is a part of me that wants people to think, "My she's really something! I don't know how she does it all!" I think that part crept out yesterday. My intention was to be encouraging and I ending up with, "wa-ah! My life is so ha-ard!" when honestly, I don't feel that way about it. Yes, I get up really early, but I am an early bird, so that's fine with me. I could juice the night before, or work out at night, or something, but that's not what I prefer. And yes, I am busy, but it is a good busy because I am doing what I love. I am lucky enough to love my job. I adore my kids, and I'm proud of all their activities and accomplishments. I love the volunteer work that I do because it gives my life meaning.

Even more importantly, I am living this particular life because: THIS IS THE LIFE THAT I CREATED FOR MYSELF. If any part of it is not working for me, I alone can change it. I am learning that I am 100% responsible for how I react to the events of my life. I can choose to stay in grace: in joy, in acceptance, in love, in the present moment.

The great thing about life: you can have a "do-over" at any time that you choose. Now even. Or now. Or now...

What Day I'm On: 9 out of 40, 22% of the way

How's It Going: Today was great! I had a ton of energy, which was great because I spent the day at a car wash fund raiser for my daughter's dance team. As a parent, they only expected me to watch the money, take attendance, and supervise the girls, but I just really felt like I wanted to get in there and help them. I washed cars all day long. It was awesome! When I came home, I was exhausted. It is 95 degrees here, so I drank a huge glass of water, climbed into my recliner right under the window air conditioner, and promptly went out like a light. My kids just woke me up after an hour, and I feel awesome again, refreshed, ready to go!

I was also not hungry at all today, a blessing. It could be the heat. I had to remind myself to drink my juice.

What I'm Excited About: Penni's book Real Juice Daily came out and I've just started it, but I CAN'T PUT IT DOWN. It is so good. Not surprising, since Penni is such a good writer, but I can't believe how much I can relate to her experience. I knew nothing about her juice feast prior to starting mine, but the insights and discoveries are vastly parallel to my own. This is so much more than a juicing journal. I don't care if you care nothing about juicing, you will love this book. A juice feast is so much more than just drinking juice for a set amount of time. It is JUST DRINKING JUICE for a set amount of time! It is a test of character, of will, and a supreme act of self-love and self-healing. Penni captures the experience brilliantly.

I am also super excited because my pretty new juicer came today! I want to kiss it and name it and take it to bed to sleep with me like a stuffed animal I love it so much. It is white, and shiny, and new and PRETTY. I already said pretty? Well, it's that pretty. Anyway, it unfortunately was delivered after I already had made my juice for the day, so I won't get to play with Ollie (his name is Ollie the Omega) until tomorrow.

So I had my farewell fling with Jack today. Jack, aka my Jack LaLanne juicer. I have been dating Jack for a while now, but now that Ollie has come into my life, I'm afraid the affair is over. Don't worry--I've already found Jack a new girlfriend. My dear friend has a huge organic garden and a lot of health problems. She would love to try juicing but is too broke to get a juicer right now. I'm so happy that I can bless her with Jack. I hope they are wonderfully happy together!

What I'm Drinking: Lemon water and MSM upon rising. (May I just say, bleh! Not tasty! But I'ma keep on doing it. Hold you nose and think of England, or something.) 4 quarts green juice: 2 heads of kale, 5 cucumbers, 10 tomatoes, 1 head of celery, 1 knob of ginger, and a partridge in a pear tree. (Ok, not that last one. Got a bit carried away.)

Detox? My nose is running like the Columbia river and I am sneezing like crazy. I've never had allergies before, so I think it's just our dear friend, detox, cleaning house, if you will. I again eliminated without any enema, and I am pleased to say the volume was impressive, lol It makes me so happy to think I am getting that junk packing out of my system!

Emotional Detox? I had my martyr moment yesterday. Today I am flying high. It is weird too, because usually, I hate the heat. It makes me grumpy, irritable and tired. Not today! I am staying really hydrated and cooling off by getting my shirt wet, ringing it out really well, and wearing it. A little weird, but boy howdy it works and feels great. I figured it out at the car wash. It was a Mallory wash too, lol.

Emotional De-cluttering? As I am getting rid of things I no longer need or want, I am hearing lots of internal objections. I put a bunch of non-natural chemical cleaning products up on freecycle.org and a voice said, "You spent a lot of money on that stuff. You should have just used it up!" and another voice said, "That stuff is not good for anyone! It belongs in the garbage!" But someone else is probably just going to go out and buy it, good for them or not, right? And at least someone is getting some use out of it. I keep having these ambivalent feelings. As I am giving away fancy cookware: you paid a lot for that! You should sell it on Craigslist or ebay! As I get rid of unneeded gadgets: You might need that! And then you won't have it! and so on. As these voices come up, I just thank them for their opinions, thank them for caring about me, but yes, it is ok and safe to freely give what I no longer need, that it may bless someone, or bless the Salvation Army with a few bucks, or something.

Physical De-cluttering? As you can see from the above, we are still in the kitchen. I am having trouble deciding about the canned goods. I have a bunch of cans of beans and tomatoes that I used to use to make vegan dishes for the kids. It's all organic. Do I give it all to the food bank? After all it is cooked, and fresh is so much better, even if I do end up cooking the fresh stuff for the kids, it will be a thousand percent better than canned. Or, do I keep it in the garage for an emergency supply? What would you do? I should say that the same pesky voice in my head says, "What if you need it? What if you lose your job? What if there's an earthquake? What if...." Does she have a point?

I for sure am giving Jack to his new girlfriend and an old blender to my sister who wants to try green smoothies. It's a good blender--it made me many a great smoothie. May it do the same for her!

Advice From Dave: Dave talked to me about different juicers. He said he uses a centrifugal juicer on the road (like Jack) because it is so much quicker. He puts a whole tray of ice cubes into a big bowl before he starts juicing. When the juice hits the ice, it is cooled instantly. He thinks this helps keep it very fresh and vital for the road. He always adds lemon juice to his juices to make them last longer, since he has to make a large quantity and keep it cooled in a cooler in the cab of his truck. When he has the time, he uses a Green Star masticating juicer. He says any juicer is good, and not to get too hung up on having the right one. The best juicer is the one you use today, so start juicing! Here's to your health!