So, yesterday was second verse, same as the first. I skipped breakfast (I never do that but I needed to get a fasting blood test) then came home and started with 1quart green juice. Then I made myself a green smoothie (just 50%greens and 50%strawberries + lemon juice) and another blended soup (50% greens + carrot, celery, lemon juice, red bell pepper, heirloom tomatoes, onion, garlic, fresh cilantro, 1/4 of an ancho chili, seeds and veins removed.) And then it happened. My appetite came back, with a vengeance. I didn't even want my smoothies. They didn't appeal to me. I felt like I would rather have nothing than have those smoothies. It was so weird. It is not like me at all.
My kids made homemade pineapple pizza for dinner. (Whole wheat crust, low-fat cheese, homemade organic sauce, but I still think it's a train wreck...) And I wanted it! I really wanted it, especially the cheese. I felt myself going there. I was reaching to nibble, just a little bit of the melted cheese...its not really cheating...just this one little bite...
And BAM! I put that Brat right into TIME OUT! Oh yes, she was piping up, big time. The same Brat that talked me into so many binges, once upon a time. But that day, is not TO-DAY. I took my life back, and I'm not giving it back.
I quickly pulled out the organic prunes I bought to help break the feast. I counted out 6 of them, and gobbled them down. (I was supposed to soak them, but I didn't trust myself to do that with the smell of pizza in my nose.) Then I immediately went and got in the shower. It is very difficult to eat pizza in the shower! So I felt safe there. And I prayed for strength to face the temptation and waited until it passed.
I could be telling you such a different story this morning, about how I blew it, but I forgive myself, etc.
But I'm not. I share this story because I think it's important to know that:
1. Just because you have a craving, you don't have to act on it! Sometimes they are STRONG but you are stronger.
2. I should never have skipped breakfast and not had even juice till noon. I never should have let that pizza be in my house. My house is a safe-zone! Mama always said, "If you don't want to slip, stay off the ice!"
3. When you hear the voice of your Brat (or your Beast, or whatever you call your addictive voice) that should be the equivalent of lights and sirens and a funky old robot waving it's arms and hollering "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!" Enact your emergency plan immediately!
4. HAVE an emergency plan! Cravings will come. They just will. There will be times when the temptation is great.
My emergency plan looks like this:
1. Recognize the signals. (The Brat trying to talk me into it.) SOUND ALARM!
2. Talk back to the Brat! Tell her NO! I decide what goes in my face, not her.
3. Remind self: I am a RAW VEGAN. If it ain't raw, and it ain't vegan, ITS NOT FOR ME!
4. Eat something healthy that IS raw and vegan, immediately!
5. Get far away from the temptation!
6. Do an incompatible activity. An incompatible activity is one you can't do while eating. So far I have take a shower, go swimming, knit, and um, couples have another option, if you get my drift. AND I THINK YOU DO. (Alas, I am gloriously single, sooo...)
7. Pray for help. (and to stop thinking about #6, lol)
This is what works for me. If you are not a person of faith, instead of the #7, you could get on-line and get support here. I do that in addition to the others, so that would be my:
8. Check into the 'Hab and get some support.
Bottom line: You NEED A PLAN. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail! You can have excuses, or you can have success, but you can't have BOTH! (that was for Susan because I know she will love it. :) Because it's true.)
So, I decided it is time for some solid food. I am still starting with green juice and I will have one of my smoothies I already made but I am going to eat some melons a few hours after that. (Melons: eat them alone, or leave them alone! They digest really quickly.) And then I am going to whip up some raw food entrees to get me through the week, and even get the dehydrator going. Even if I don't eat the heavier food (and I am going to try not to for at least until day 7 post feast) I want to feed it to the teens so I won't have to deal with cooked temptation any more. At least if it's raw temptation, the consequences are much smaller if I "sample" some. Nora loves her some raw nori rolls filled with Cilantro-Lime pate. Joe is a sucker for raw ice creem. (Who isn't?) We all like raw crackers and kale chips. And the crackers I love take forever to dehydrate and are mostly veggies anyway (Abeba The Krazy Kracker Lady's Bar-b-q chips which are really a version of flax cracker.)
Oh, about that blood test? My cholesterol is back up to 206! (It was down to 140 before, but that was on medication + vegan diet.) Ok, color me bummed. Because I just got off a 40 day juice feast, and if that isn't healthy and low-fat then nothing is. And I haven't had any animal products in so, so long. There is no dietary cholesterol coming in, AT ALL. None. Zilch. Nada.
Which can only mean that I am still making too much, myself. I do have a gene that causes "Familial Hyper Lipidemia." My daughter has it too, but my son dodged the bullet. (My mom has it also. Her cholesterol was so high the first time they tested, they did it twice to see if the test malfunctioned. She is SOOOO not vegan...) This gene causes your own liver to make too much cholesterol, and unfortunately, it's the "bad" kind, the LDL. (It also makes it much more likely that you will be overweight, but I refuse to use that as an excuse!)
Alright, this means war. Me against the gene. My doctor wants me to go back on the statin drug, of course. She would, wouldn't she?! lol I am going to try dietary approaches: I am eating 1-2 cloves of garlic a day, plus chia seeds in my smoothies AND pysillium. I am going to research more dietary cures, but those I know about off the top of my head. (Anyone want to suggest others?)
Ok, your mission, if you choose to accept it: Design an emergency plan (if you don't already have one) and tell me about it in the comments.